Kerplunk

War, Beer and Rock & Roll

2012-01-17T18:45:00.000-05:00

In The Daily Beast, my review of Michael Hastings's new book The Operators.

A Christmas Hymn

2011-12-23T14:10:00.000-05:00

A piece in The New York Times At War section, about the homefront. It's written by the strongest person I've ever known - my mother.

http://nyti.ms/u0RFoR

CNN Newsroom Interview

2011-12-21T00:21:00.000-05:00

Video clip of my interview with CNN's Don Lemon, from 12/17/11, discussing the end of the Iraq War and Kaboom. It was a lot of fun! And he complimented my tie and suit.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=p0y50-CYQkY

War Games

2011-12-08T12:54:00.001-05:00

My latest, at The Rumpus - an essay about the intersection of modern sports and war entitled "War Games."

http://therumpus.net/2011/12/war-games/

This Creed of the Desert

2011-10-22T17:58:00.001-04:00

Wrote a piece for the Daily News about the Iraq War coming to an end. Should run in print in Sunday's (10/22) paper. (Original title: "This Creed of the Desert.")

http://www.nydailynews.com/opinions/2011/10/22/2011-10-22_troops_to_withdrawal_from_iraq_but_it_doesnt_quell_the_sting_from_battle_that_on.html

Kaboom in Small Wars Journal

2011-09-19T15:16:00.000-04:00

Caleb Cage, of the fantastic literary journal The Nevada Review, just published an essay at Small Wars Journal entitled "Journalist-Soldiers: Blogs, Books, and Freedom on the Battlefield." It's a thorough, intriguing analysis of the new type of combat memoir that has emerged from the Iraq and Afghanistan wars, and has a lot of very kind things to say about Kaboom. Check it out when you can.

Down and Out With the American Dream

2011-09-12T08:51:00.000-04:00

A review of Colby Buzzell's Lost in America, posted at The Daily Beast.

9/11 Reflections

2011-09-11T10:52:00.005-04:00

Tough day for a lot of people, and not just because of what occurred ten years ago. The decade that followed has been pretty brutal and straining, as well. But we endure.

I wrote a piece entitled "Three Wise Men" for Scholars & Rogues here.

And spoke with MTV News here.

Also, read this piece by my boss Paul Rieckhoff, here, at The Huffington Post. It's entitled "Moving Forward." My favorite lines from it are these:

"And whatever one thinks of those wars, no one has better represented the resolve of “Never Forget” than the service members that have fought in our name. They remember their fallen brothers and sisters in arms, and honor them by moving forward – something we as a nation are in the process of doing ourselves."

In Defense of "Once an Eagle"

2011-08-29T10:52:00.002-04:00

My latest, up at TIME's Battleland.

Link

Boston Review - "Straight Shooter"

2011-08-15T12:28:00.002-04:00

My latest, in Boston Review. An excerpt entitled "Straight Shooter."

Link

Battleland

2011-08-12T12:08:00.000-04:00

Excited to share that I've joined the Battleland team at TIME as a contributor. My first piece, "Vets Aren't Victims," posted on Wednesday.

http://battleland.blogs.time.com/2011/08/10/vets-arent-victims/

Renaming the Campaigns

2011-07-27T18:33:00.001-04:00

My latest, in the New York Times series At War.

(Original title: "To Hell with Newspeak.")

The War Yet to Come: A review of "Broken Bodies, Shattered Minds"

2011-06-24T17:12:00.001-04:00

At Small Wars Journal.

Where's the Great Novel About the War on Terror?

2011-06-14T10:45:00.000-04:00

My latest, in The Atlantic.

Link

Cheers!

"Black Watch" - a review

2011-05-06T21:31:00.003-04:00

The question of authenticity is one that all war dramas must confront. Err too much in the name of entertainment, and war veterans of the military conflict in question will savage it to no end. (See: The Hurt Locker). Err too much on the side of the realistic though, and it may quickly lose any and all mass appeal. It's a delicate balance, one the Scottish play "Black Watch," written by Gregory Burke, tries very earnestly to find. It doesn't quite do so, as it's narrative arc is too clean and predictable, but that doesn't detract from the play's still very powerful presentation. Further, it's central message - that soldiers fight for the men next to them, rather than for glory or for country or for the politics - is something that will resonate with veterans of any generation.

The imagery and dialogue of "Black Watch" are peppered with modernity. From a visually stunning five minute scene where the narrator elucidates on the history of the infantry regiment - while switching in and out of the uniforms of every era - to a conversation that consists of the word "cunt" about 30 times in one minute, it's clear that Burke was paying close attention while interviewing actual Black Watch veterans in his research. The pride of military service is successfully conveyed, as is the ambiguity of the Iraq mission circa 2004. And the music, the bagpipes, especially, made the Scottish part of my soul glow while Saint Andrew's Cross danced on the walls. It was a wonderful experience, presented in a forum I'm not too familiar with, and it communicates a lot in a limited time. Judging by some of the students and civilians around me, it also served as an edifying tool for individuals not familiar with the military culture and/or not engaged with the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

City Girl had tears in her eyes by the end of the play, so I feel like an overanalytical clown for saying "but" ... BUT. There's differences amongst the characters, but not much depth to them. No Iraqi appears on stage. The play purports to be apolitical, but some not so subtle digs at American foreign policy are still there. (Something that I'm sure plays well to audiences in the UK, and not arguments I necessarily disagree with, but if a work says it's apolitical, it needs to be apolitical. But I digress.) And then there's the issue of the story arc. It's just too ... clean. (*Warning: Spoiler alert!*) Soldiers go to war, soldiers bond, soldiers get bored, soldiers bond some more, soldiers watch others fight, soldiers fight, affable soldier and stoic sergeant die. That's a familiar refrain for war dramas, because it fits the traditional narrative arc, complete with tension buildup, climax, and resolution. But the real thing tends to be a lot messier than that, and fitting it into such a standard story line does a disservice to the nuance and complexities faced by the real Black Watch and other units. To be fair, this is a concern that's long been stuck in my craw, and "Black Watch" is certainly not the only play/film/novel to do this.

By and large, the reception to "Black Watch" in both military and civilian circles has been almost universally positive. I really enjoyed it, but I found it to be a flawed piece of art that falls a bit short of its own aspirations. That said, its importance and relevance to bridging the ever-vaunted mil-civ divide cannot be overstated. Highly recommended.

(Note: Complimentary tickets to the play "Black Watch" were provided to military veterans and guests on April 27 by St. Ann's Warehouse, a venue in Brooklyn.)

"The Hut Next Door" - a piece for The New York Times

2011-05-03T17:21:00.000-04:00

I wrote a ObL-reaction piece for The New York Times, entitled "The Hut Next Door." It was published this afternoon on their blog Home Fires. Check it out, if you can.

The Hut Next Door

America. Fuck. Yeah.

2011-05-01T23:35:00.004-04:00

Was going to write a play review tonight, but yeah, that's going to wait. Bin Laden. Is. Dead.

No words can ever capture the poignancy of a moment like this, but a sense of closure exists, certainly. And not just for military personnel, or veterans, or even America. It's not over, of course, but still. It's there. Some closure.

Even though I start a new job tomorrow with IAVA, City Girl and I just cracked open a couple brews, and are staying up for President Obama's speech. My sincere gratitude to all involved in getting the bastard.

Cheers.

End of April Roundup

2011-04-29T16:45:00.009-04:00

Some random thoughts, written randomly. Apologies ahead of time for my overuse of the pronoun "I," it's just been a busy spring. (How'd that stab at faux e-humility go?):

- The book tour for the paperback went very well. Saw New England in all its rugged beauty. Liked: teenage red fox on the side of the road eating a rabbit lunch, Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's childhood home, local NE brews, mountain lakes, awesome people, clam chowder. Disliked: Maine weather. These desert bones still chill easily, apparently. Thank Allah for layers.

- City Girl liked the outlet malls, as well. I may or may not have given her the MasterCard and the green light to pick me up some new work clothes and something for her while I escaped to a coffee shop for the morning. Can't confirm or deny.

- Thank you to the management and staff of White Birch Books, RiverRun Bookstore, Longfellow Books, and the Toadstool Bookshop - they couldn't have been nicer or more welcoming. (Double props go to Longfellow Books in Portland, Maine, for providing free wine and delicious macaroons.) Public service reminder: support your local indy bookstore. There's so much they offer a local community, even in a post-Amazon era.

- (The photo to the left is from RiverRun Bookstore, in Portsmouth, NH. How about that frat shag! Kevlar helmet survivor here, and my hairline lived to tell the tale. Some of my brothers in arms weren't so lucky.)

- My sincere thanks to the following people at Da Capo Press and Perseus Books for their hard work and dedication to Kaboom: the publisher John Radziewicz, my editor Bob Pigeon, Jonathan Crowe, Lissa Warren and her publicity team, and Kevin Hanover, Sean Maher and the marketing gurus. I can't tell you how many pestering emails I sent them all over the past 20ish months, but they answered each and every one, as professionally and friendly as possible.

- Reading at Strand Bookstore this past Tuesday was a dream come true. Mad props to all involved in making it happen, and yes, props are best when angry. Also, mucho gratitude to all my friends who made it out, including my literary agent, William Clark.

- Go Oklahoma City Thunder! This is how basketball is supposed to be played - fluid, athletic, and team ball not dependent on getting a foul call on a drive to the hoop. Reminds me of the best basketball team of the decade - the 2002 Sacramento Kings.

- Check out the latest issue of The Nevada Review here. It includes my short story "Brothers in Arms." The editors of NVR, Caleb Cage and Joe McCoy, are working tirelessly to establish this biannual journal in my home state, and are doing an amazing job. One of the earlier issues contained a selection from Willy Vlautin's novel Lean on Pete, which just won the Ken Kesey Fiction Award at the 2011 Oregon Book Awards. Further, this latest issue contains an intriguing essay on Mark Twain and an excellent book review of Gregory Martin's memoir Mountain City. I'm going to stop now, all this Nevada talk is making me miss home - where there are pinecones one way, miles upon miles of desert the other way, and good ole' fashioned pioneer spirit every which way.

- If you haven't read the essay "My Lost City," by F. Scott Fitzgerald before, do so now. I just stumbled across it myself. What a brilliant writer. His ability to capture the simultaneous sadness and joy of the human experience is simply unparalleled.

- I'll post a review of the play "Black Watch" sometime this weekend.

- Sales of Kaboom across the pond seem to be going along swimmingly, no doubt due to the crack squad at Transworld. I recorded an interview last night with the BBC program "Up All Night," which will air this Sunday.

- Speaking of the UK, I'm no Royalist, and didn't watch any part of the wedding, but good for William. I think he outkicked his coverage, if you get what I'm saying. Nothing wrong with that, either, I did the same w/ City Girl.

- The Wake Forest basketball coach, Jeff Bzdelik, is such a clown. I'm not going to bore anyone, but no way he lasts another two seasons. He's as prickly as a porcupine, and half as media savvy. That matters nowadays, especially when you're coming off a 8-24 season. We miss you, Skip!

- I've decided on a title for that novel I'm working on: In the Meantime. I'm about a third of the way done with the first version. It could be really good, if I remember to stay out of the story's way.

- In case you missed it, here's some video from my appearance on the Maine news show "207." Linkasaurus

- Wish I could be with my milblogging peeps this weekend at the Milblogging Conference in DC, as I'm sure it'll be an excellent and informative time. Wonder who wins the Milbloggies this year?

- I start my job as senior writing manager with IAVA on Monday. I'm excited/nervous/anxious; all normal things, I think. As I understand it, I'll be writing op-eds and blog pieces, and helping craft speeches for our movers and shakers - a really awesome opportunity, all for an organization I believe in wholeheartedly. What does that mean for this blog? To be honest, I don't really know. I'll try and post over here as much as I can, though, at best, it'll be as infrequent as it's been in the past year. But I always love hearing from my e-pals, be it on here, Twitter, or email, so don't be a stranger. Hope everyone is well, catch you on the flip side.

Hugs, not drugs,

Matt

Farewell, Self-Employment

2011-04-16T02:37:00.001-04:00

I wanted to let you all know I'll be starting a big person job in May, at IAVA (Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America), as their senior writing manager. If you're not familiar with IAVA, it's a non-profit, non-partisan veterans advocacy organization that is very rapidly becoming a sort of postmodern VFW. I'm incredibly excited for the opportunity, and can't wait to get started - the work for our generation of vets is only beginning, and I'm eager to do my part.

The flexibility of the position will also allow me to pursue my MFA in creative writing uptown, which is pure awesomesauce. The combination of these duties definitely means I'll be spending a lot of hours and brain output on the computer, which is a good thing. I think. I hope some of you will remind me to go outside once in a while. Birds and sunshine and fresh air are also good things.

Also, the paperback tour for Kaboom kicks off on Monday, and maybe I'll see some of you along the way - New England, here we come! In the meantime, I'm going to spend the rest of the weekend searching for the ties I threw in the back of my closet last year, so certain I'd never need them again ... oops.

Veterans Outreach Center discussion series

2011-03-28T15:38:00.000-04:00

I'll be in Rochester this Wednesday, March 30, representing IAVA at the Veterans Outreach Center Coming Home From War discussion series. The event is hosted by Nazareth College, and the link below has more details. Hope to see some of my e-friends there!

Link

"Brothers in Arms" in The Nevada Review

2011-03-14T23:56:00.002-04:00

Happy to announce my short story "Brothers in Arms" will be published in the upcoming issue of The Nevada Review!

Link

I'll be sure to let you all know when issues are available to order.

West Point visit

2011-03-04T15:19:00.002-05:00

I'll be speaking at West Point this Monday, March 7, as part of their creative writing forum. West Point Library, 7 p.m., Alexander Haig Room, 6th floor.

I'll leave my anecdotes of drinking beer and partying with sorority girls in college out of my speech, for the sake of the cadets in attendance.

Update, March 8: I really enjoyed the West Point reading - good turnout, beautiful library overlooking the Hudson River, and nuanced, thoughtful questions. I advised the cadets that as long as they're not social retards as platoon leaders, they'll find success. An English professor afterwards said he thought the cadets appreciated and understood my "respectful irreverence." I'm still bursting with pride about that one.

Paperback Tour

2011-03-01T11:35:00.001-05:00

Finalized, for the most part. Definitely psyched about a driving tour of New England with City Girl. Hope to see some of you out there!

April 18 (Monday) - White Birch Books, North Conway, NH, 7 p.m.

April 19 (Tuesday) - RiverRun Bookstore, Portsmouth, NH, 7 p.m.

April 21 (Thursday) - Longfellow Books, Portland, ME, 7 p.m.

April 23 (Saturday) - The Toadstool Bookshop, Keene, NH, 2 p.m.

April 26 (Tuesday) - The Strand Underground, New York, NY, 6:30 p.m.

Observations from the third and final Columbia ROTC Forum

2011-02-24T11:58:00.013-05:00

Those of you that follow me on the Twitter Machine already know I attended last night's town hall on the possible return of ROTC to Columbia's campus. I got lured there by the possibility of fireworks and the promise of post-event Guinness. Though this event lacked the heckling of the last town hall meeting, there were plenty of passions on display - muted hissings and snide laughter were almost as prevalent as Princess Leia anti-imperialist speeches.

My take: ROTC should be allowed to return to Columbia, though it's no guarantee the military will find it worth their while to sustain a program there. I also found that most of the anti-ROTC speakers didn't have any idea of what ROTC actually is, or what it's relationship is with a college that hosts it, but that's not really their fault - to quote Staff Sergeant Bulldog about fobbits, "they just don't know any betta.'"

Some random observations and opinions, in the order found in my notepad. Be warned: red herrings, strawmen, and crazy people were abound!

- The event was hosted in the Altschul Auditorium, in Columbia's International Affairs Building. (Better known as SIPA, School of International and Public Affairs.) University police and some dude in a suit were checking IDs at the door; one had to have a school ID (or presumably, media credentials) to get in the door. (Did I use a now-expired school ID? Why yes, yes I did.)

- My guesstimation - over 300 people in attendance.

- Provost Claude Steele gave the opening remarks, acknowledging the "robust crowd." He walked us through the process - these town halls are for members of the Columbia community to express their recommendations to the Task Force on Military Engagement, made up of five students and four faculty members. From there, the Task Force writes a report and makes a recommendation of whether or not to reinstitute ROTC on campus to the Columbia Senate, sometime in early March. After that, the Senate will vote, which will "inform" the President of Columbia and the Board of Trustees. So yeah, a lot of red tape, just like anywhere else.

- There were lots and lots of calls for civility before the microphones were opened up to the public.

- My informal number-crunching showed that 22 speakers expressed pro-ROTC sentiments, 27 expressed anti-ROTC at Columbia sentiments, and 2 expressed some other thing entirely.

- One early anti-ROTC speaker cited Cadet Command's ban on using Wikileaks as a research source as evidence that cadets wouldn't be able to fully commit themselves to academia.

- Every single History professor that spoke called for a return of ROTC to campus. Every single Anthropology professor that spoke called for the continuation of the ROTC ban on campus. Thoughts, pop philosophers?

- A Poly Sci professor implored Columbia to influence the military through ROTC, i.e. change from within, and said the military shouldn't just be led by West Pointers and graduates of "East Jesus State." This earned some laughs, but raised elitist bells with a lot of people, and deservedly so, methought. (Whoa! Methought actually passed the spell checker! Weird.)

- Columbia MilVets cited the latest vet statistics: 340 GWOT veterans are currently at Columbia, with approximately 200 of those being in the undergrad world. This is the most in the Ivy League.

- A pro-ROTC speaker, a girl from San Antonio, talked about her Naval Academy friend walking around Columbia in his dress whites, and being yelled at and told to go home. Maybe it was after Labor Day?

- Everyone in the audience was trying really, really hard to be civil, but it proved impossible, so a series of Clap Wars ensued, including one buffoon in front of me banging on his desk.

- It seemed like the most trotted-out argument for the anti-ROTC speakers was that the military's current ban on transgenders violates Columbia's anti-discrimination policy, and that ethically, Columbia can't invite an organization onto campus that so openly violates this policy. No offense to my transgender brothers and sisters out there, but are we really having this conversation? Only in New York City. (Also, taken from a Tweep - stop moving the goalposts. First it was DADT, now it's this. What's next - the military discriminates against midgets and fat people?)

- A veteran student restated the "there are people out there plotting to kill you" line that got the injured vet heckled last week. Snickering follows, and an Anthro professor waiting to speak said "No, I don't think that's the case," to those around him.

- Great quote from a Marine Iraq vet, talking about how the military is not perfect, but improving, and that Columbia needs to recognize such: "The nature of progress is there's no end to it."

- One undergrad girl claimed the military is responsible for creating our enemies, through our foreign policy pursuits. Was this accusation vague and nebulous - of course. She's not entirely wrong, but lost in her passion was nuance. She'll grow out of it. Probably.

- There was a call for an executive branch within the military, to counter-balance the military's chain-of-command structure. This would've come in handy during the downfall of the Kaboom blog, don't you think?

- "What freedoms do the military uphold, and for whom?" A rhetorical question asked by a speaker. She went on to say that the military doesn't protect freedom, but open debate and dialogue do. At this point my ears started to bleed.

- A breakthrough! Speakers on both sides agree that the faux-controversy last week generated by the article in The New York Post was unfair, as it was four seconds in an otherwise civil 2.5-hour debate.

- The Task Force got absolutely reamed by speaker after speaker. Claims of lack of transparency and that it was set up to push ROTC through, regardless of public sentiment. The funny part was watching the four members of the TF present just have to sit there and take it. Brutal. (But also funny.)

- A graduate student asked for more transparency regarding what ROTC provides students. At this point, despite my promises to myself to not speak, I try to get in line to share my ROTC experiences at Wake. (I.E. yes - we were students first and cadets second! We went to class and wore civilian clothes and drank beer and everything. We also didn't hold the Board of Trustees hostage to meet our demands of a 24-hour bodega.) Unfortunately, they already capped the lines, so I couldn't speak. I avoided the temptation to ironically yell out "my voice will be heard!" and instead returned to my seat and ate Doritos.

- By and large, international students spoke out against ROTC, and the U.S. military, in general.

- Apparently, ROTC will "militarize" the campus of Columbia. I LOLed.

- Another grad student argued that Columbia already allowed vets into their classrooms, so clearly, they've done enough. "The school of General Studies ... is where they can go to unlearn what they learned in the military."

- A note, addressed to "future Matt:" You turned down Knicks tickets for this. On Carmelo Anthony's debut. Idiot.

- A SIPA econ professor told the Task Force "it looks like this is going to go through, no matter what we say."

- An honest to God "no blood for oil" chant. 2003 called and demanded it or something.

- A Columbia law student and Iraq vet talked about his ROTC experience at Cornell. Thank Allah.

That's it. I stayed for the whole thing, despite myself. I begrudgingly admit that the Forum was worth my time, and I thank the Task Force on Military Engagement for hosting it. If nothing else, I was reminded that another side of the debate exists, and they are vocal, passionate, and engaged. I'll leave it at that.

(Okay, one more thing - think the anti-ROTC protestors would support a return to the draft? Let's channel that derivative outrage into something worthwhile!)

Paperback Cover for Kaboom

2011-02-23T13:08:00.000-05:00

I've already shared the UK cover for Kaboom here, and now I get to post Da Capo's paperback cover. (Slated for an April 12 release.) It's absolutely stunning, and looks even better when matched with the spine and back cover. My sincere gratitude to everyone at Da Capo involved with designing it and putting it together.

What do you all think? Pretty awesome, right? I love the dog tag O's. And the cursor at the end of the subtitle, as a nod to the old Kaboom blog? Brilliant.

There will be a paperback book tour, though it'll be smaller and shorter than the hardcover tour. (There's only so much rock 'n roll this skinny Irishman can handle, you dig?) Details to follow, but it's going to strictly be a New York and New England affair.

The Columbia ROTC Forum

2011-02-20T12:27:00.009-05:00

So, here I am on a Sunday morning, nursing a mild case of the Irish flu, watching reruns of Beverly Hills, 90210. And then I get sent this link, a New York Post story on how an injured Iraq vet was booed by his fellow Columbia students at a forum discussing ROTC possibly returning to campus.

So much for following the travails of Brenda Walsh.

First, I wasn't at the forum in question. Maybe it really was as bad as The Post makes it sound. Then again, it's The Post. Second, I don't really qualify as a Columbia student right now, since I'm in the midst of switching programs, possibly/maybe staying there, maybe not. That said, I did spend some quality time there last semester, both with fellow vets and just normal undergrad/grad students. And as someone borderline obsessed with civ-mil relations in our time, of course I have some opinions on what went down!

The overwhelming majority of Columbia's community is no different than America as a whole - they're intrigued by veterans, unsure of what the right questions are at first, and grateful in a "thanks, hollow caricature man" kind of way. Then, just like the rest of our nation, in-depth, nuanced discussions bridge gaps otherwise thought impossible. So, my initial reaction to The Post piece - much ado about not(h)ing. (Shakespeare joke. A lame one, admittedly.)

That said however, there is a strain of thought in the Columbia legions that they must be against anything military-related, because they are Columbia, after all. This is a leftover from the 60s, when Columbia became Columbia with their in/famous Vietnam protests. Some of the faculty still walks around viewing the world through this black-and-white prism, and occasionally, one will stumble across an undergrad who feels the same way. Or, more accurately, feel like they need to feel that way, because they Wikipedia'ed Columbia after getting accepted, and a perverted sort of romanticism followed. It's as organic as most anything else in 2011, i.e. a regurgitated derivative from an age deemed more "real" and "authentic." These kids are clowns, obviously, but certainly not indicative of the student population as a whole.

We'll see how Columbia responds to all the bad publicity this garners. On Twitter, Alex Horton expressed desire for an editorial in the student newspaper denouncing the hecklers, and I'm expecting one. Just remember, before the inevitable anti-Ivy League backlash occurs, that Columbia has gone above and beyond their fellow Ivies in terms of GWOT veterans outreach. The last numbers I saw had more than 300 Iraq and Afghanistan veterans on campus. That matters a hell of a lot more than a couple of discontents acting out some hippie fantasy.

Update: I reached out to some friends who were there, and while they said The Post piece was sensationalized, the heckling "still happened." Silly, soft posers. They can't even find something new and generationally-appropriate to protest.

Update 2: As predicted, the Columbia Spectator wrote an editorial in support of ROTC returning to campus. Good for them. Wish they had directly responded to the heckling incident, though.

Bookslut review - YKWTMAG

2011-02-07T13:49:00.000-05:00

Here's my review of Siobhan Fallon's short story collection You Know When the Men Are Gone, posted at the litblog Bookslut. Check it out!

In Defense of Exposition

2011-02-01T13:32:00.009-05:00

Writing fiction is an entirely different animal from non-fiction. Sure, the basics are the same, but I've found that fiction requires a different kind of diligence and deliberateness. Every word matters; simply telling the story, like non-fiction demands above all else, is rarely the most pivotal aspect of a piece in this alternate writing universe.

In modern fiction workshops, the adage "show, don't tell" has become law to the point that even its banality doesn't feel fresh anymore. Now, there's a lot of truth to such a statement, and it's something young writers need to pay close attention to - it helps keep characters from devolving into caricatures, and gives inexperienced narrative voices training wheels as they develop. But this reaction against exposition has gone too far, I believe, and likely a result of the proliferation of creative writing in academia. (This is not intended as a slam against the MFA culture, and now is as good a time as any to state that I'm probably/hopefully/maybe switching over to a MFA program next year. Sorry Interwebz, you're always the last to know!)

I recently received a critique of a short story of mine, from an experienced writer working as a reader for a literary magazine. While I was disappointed the story hadn't been accepted for publication (rejection happens a lot in this world, one gets used to it), I welcomed the critique as a way to improve my writing in general and the short story in question. I'm new to professional fiction, after all, and recognize its vast differences in construct from non-fiction, essays, and op-eds. And, by and large, the reader's advice was sharp and insightful. One TrackChange, though, bothered me, and bothered me because it's just really, really, unequivocally, and grossly incorrect: "Story is going to win over exposition each time."

With respect, the universality of this statement displays a formulaic and rather bland approach to writing. I enjoy Raymond Carver as much as the next person, but for Christ's sake, other styles exist. There are technical aspects to the craft for sure, but it's not a science - I doubt there's ever a time in literature that something is going to win out over something else each time. Exposition, as a technique, only competes against other literary techniques, not against the story itself. Further, some of the greatest writers in the history of language have relied on the literary tool of exposition for pages on end - Dickens and Hemingway come immediately to mind - and their works seem to have held up pretty well.

Exposition allows a writer to tell the story they want to tell, explaining facts, context, and background info and doling out descriptions and imagery to save space that otherwise might take too long "to show." We control those pages, after all, and the pace and themes and structure are our own. While I'm as wary and bored by pages upon pages of pop philosophizing as the next reader, if something is good writing, I'll keep reading, no matter what form it comes in - dialogue, argumentation, description, narration, stream of consciousness rambles ... and yes, even exposition. To completely avoid a literary technique because it's become en vogue to describe it as "an information dump" is as limiting as it is rigid. A good story needs framework, otherwise it won't say anything - pretty words without purpose and direction are just pretty words, and hollow ones at that.

I took to Twitter a couple nights ago to check the temperature of exposition. And, frankly, to make sure I wasn't just feeling sorry for myself. Turns out, I'm not the only one who feels this way. Robin Black, author of the celebrated short story collection If I Loved You, I Would Tell You, tweeted back "I totally agree the 'show don't tell' thing got out of hand at some point. It's not that simple. Sometimes just tell it." And one of the Cummings brothers at the blog On Violence pointed out that this "rule" should be meant for novice writers, equating it to avoiding the passive voice. Spot-on analysis from both.

I'm certainly not arguing that the initial backlash against exposition, some decades ago, wasn't deserved or understandable. But in any art form, techniques will ebb and flow. Just as Shakespeare didn't kill the sonnet, exposition didn't die with the High modernists. And taking a cue from elementary school, I choose to exist in a writing world where Show and Tell are important to a good fiction story. To paraphrase the advice of an early creative writing teacher of mine, "if everyone else is doing it one way, doing the exact opposite is probably a good idea." Viva storytelling! Viva contrarianism! And viva exposition!

On ROTC in the Ivy League

2011-01-28T16:06:00.011-05:00

With DADT going the way of the dodo, much of the Ivy League is searching for new reasons not to have ROTC on campus. (Sidenote: I predict barring women from combat arms branches will be a popular talking point in the Ivory Tower for the next couple years). There are always academic and philosophical reasons trotted out of course, but let's face it - this is nothing more than a prominent marker in the American upper classes' continual distancing of itself from the military and military service.

Andrew Exum, also known as Abu Muqawama, makes the case on his blog that it's not the elite universities' fault per se, but more a result of the military focusing its efforts on schools where it'll have more of an recruiting effect. And there's some truth in that, though it's a classic chicken v. egg argument - what came first, the military ignoring the bluebloods or the bluebloods ignoring the military? Conveniently, Ex glosses over that these restrictions are still in place because of the schools' stated policies, not because of any military regulation. If the universities were to lift these restrictions, there's no way to say whether the military would institute ROTC programs at which schools, but at least the option to do so would exist. And, in my mind, this would be a step in the direction of re-democratizing our armed forces. Let the number-crunchers decide if it's worth it or not, not tenured progressives still living the Vietnam debate. (Says the guy hoping to become a tenured professor someday.)

Wake Forest isn't Ivy League, but it's a damn good school. (More like the Magnolia League, you dig?) It's got a solid Army ROTC program that is never very big, but produces some of the finest ROTC graduates every year. (This writer notwithstanding.) Hell, in my four years there, there were six different cadets with full-bird colonels or generals as fathers - not a coincidence, I've since realized. Our sister programs at Duke, Davidson, UVA, and UNC-Chapel Hill are also good examples of how ROTC programs can and do work at elite universities. And given the lessons supposedly learned in our officer corps from the past eight years at war, shouldn't we be seeking out as many of the best and brightest as possible, even if they are just four-year short-timers? Does the military want to produce another generation of officers just like the old one, or do they want to develop and cultivate the best officer corps it possibly can? (A question for a different debate, and without a clear answer, I realize.) The Ivy League shouldn't just be a farm for future Spooks, especially if the military is serious about developing leaders capable of leading both in traditional warfare and in asymmetric warfare. (One last additional note: All the schools mentioned above, from the Ivys to the Magnolias, are national brands, and attract students accordingly. So the traditional "military-friendly South" v. "anti-military Northeast" rebuttal doesn't fly here, in my opinion.)

Along these lines - a group of Columbia Vets have an online petition going, in the hopes of returning ROTC to Columbia's campus. I encourage you all to sign it, if you feel so inclined.

Spirit of America in The Wall Street Journal

2011-01-20T13:12:00.001-05:00

Click here for The Wall Street Journal article, or here if you're too lazy to sign up for a free online subscription.

Pilgrim's Progress: An essay in The New York Times

2011-01-19T22:50:00.002-05:00

I wrote an essay entitled "Pilgrim's Progress" for The New York Times. They posted it on their blog Home Fires. Give it a read, if you get a chance.

Link

Kaboom giveaway - tell me a yoke, any yoke

2011-01-18T13:20:00.005-05:00

A couple weeks ago, I gave out four copies of Kaboom on Twitter. Good way to spread the word while clearing out apartment space - a win-win. Afterwards though, I received an email from a longtime blog follower who pointed out, rather nicely, that they deserved to participate in giveaways, too. Fair enough.

So!

Tell me a joke in the comments section. Preferably a military-related joke, but it doesn't have to be - Irish jokes, women jokes, and bad Asian driver jokes are also encouraged. Top ... 3ish? ... jokes will receive a free, signed copy of Kaboom, inscribed to whomever the winners desire. Contest runs through Friday afternoon, and yes, I'm the only judge. (In Mills Lane voice - "I'll allow it!")

Some hints:
1) I like irony, but love understatement.
2) I'm a sucker for self-aware cheesiness.
3) I'm definitely not above gallows humor (anyone whose read Kaboom knows that, but, in theory at least, this is for people who haven't yet read the book), but crudity for the sake of crudity isn't going to do much.

Happy wisecracking!

Update, 1/22: Winners posted in comments section. Thanks to everyone who participated!

An Iraq War veteran talks to a college student

2011-01-14T10:26:00.000-05:00

Funny, in that sad cause it's true kind of way

Link

Will Accord for Change

2011-01-10T20:23:00.000-05:00

Times are indeed tough in this economic climate. Last seen at Jabba the Hut's palace, disappearing into the sarlacc's mouth, Boba Fett the bounty hunter reappeared today at the 14th Street subway station. Playing the accordion. And playing it well.

Selections from The Last of the Mohicans and Back to the Future soundtracks proved fan favorites.

Spirit of America blog update

2011-01-08T01:07:00.000-05:00

Why yes dear readers, I am aware I've updated this blog more in the past three days than I did in the six months previous. It's a combination of free time, Snowpocalypses, winter lager, and The Last of the Mohicans soundtrack. A perfect recipe for writing. And for cabin fever.

Anyways ...

My good friend Chris Hellie and his comrade in arms, Matt Valkovic, continue to blog from Afghanistan for the non-profit organization Spirit of America. In emails exchanged with Chris, it sounds like the A-Stan is a lot alike Iraq, just up to the point when someone is tempted to actually compare it to Iraq. If that makes no sense, good - counterinsurgency isn't supposed to. It's one of the central tenets of COIN, I think it's in the manual somewhere.

Anyways ...

The Spirit of America blog has a new post up, written by Chris and Matt, profiling a Marine lieutenant serving as his battalion's information officer. (The blog piece comes complete with an icy badass Marine glare! Seriously, for all its faults, the Army at least let us smile for photos). As the writers point out, LT Mills is an example of a mover and a shaker who's impacting postmodern warfare directly from the ground. Check it out, and consider contributing to Spirit of America, if you're in the position to do so.

Reading Moonbow

2011-01-07T14:28:00.002-05:00

Reading Rainbow was a weird PBS show that attempted to peer pressure my generation into literacy during the 80s and 90s. Sometimes Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego followed it, which partly redeemed the aforementioned show, because if the stupid kids don't get phonics, there ain't nuthin' television gonna' do to fix it. Geography and sexy spies in trench coats though - that's something everyone can enjoy.

A moonbow is a weird natural wonder that Wikipedia can better explain than me. (Science hurts the brain.) The one and only moonbow I ever saw occurred on the Big Island of Hawaii, in early 2007, during a training exercise and right after I took over my scout platoon. I found it poignant, charming, and worth writing in my journal about. Then my NCOs gave me dip for the first time and I got dizzy and went to bed in the back of my Stryker. (Didn't vomit, though! Take that, Kodiak snuff.)

Anyways, that has nothing to do with anything. I just needed an intro for the book list I'm about to pontificate about. So here goes, a list of books I've read/am reading, all thanks to that wonderful month of freedom known as ~~Christmas~~ winter break.

1) The Gods of Diyala, by Caleb Cage and Gregory Tomlin - Full disclosure - Caleb is also from Reno, and he and I met up at his brothers' pub a couple weeks ago to talk Iraq memoirist-from-Reno-talk. And as great a guy as Caleb is, I wouldn't blow smoke up the Interwebz's backside unless I thought his book deserved it - and it does. Set in Diyala Province in Iraq in 2004, Cage and Tomlin chronicle their companies' deployment, and Good Christ, I'm glad they did. Some things in the Army are universal, like the Suck, soldiers' dark humor, and bureaucracy, bureaucracy, bureaucracy. But this book opened my eyes to the aimlessness of the early Iraq War in ways no other book has, to include Evan Wright's Generation Kill and Nate Fick's Nate Fick is Super Awesome. (Just kidding. I've heard from anyone that knows Fick that he's a great dude and a better leader. And his book is very good. I'll definitely vote for him for Senator of America someday. What? That's not snark, I mean that!) Anyways, buy The Gods of Diyala if you want to understand how and why the protracted shift to counterinsurgency was so essential. It's like a ground view of Tom Ricks' Fiasco, complete with an ironic title mocking a way too earnest company commander. (Bringing this paragraph full-circle, Ricks now works for Fick at the think tank Center for a New American Security.)

2) The Farther Shore, by Matthew Eck - This book was recommended by the blog On Violence, and they were spot on with such. A veteran of Somalia, Eck's novel brings a literary voice to postmodern warfare in a way I've not seen yet. It's lean, and it's style screams of "What Would Hemingway Do!" rewrites, but all literature is derivative, to be fair. The end gets a little trippy, but personally, I really enjoyed it, considering I lived the symbolism Eck conveys. Those Hurt Locker fucks would've been much better off making a movie from this.

3) The Man Who Never Returned, by Peter Quinn. A work of fiction, The Man Who Never Returned revisits the unsolved disappearance of Justice Joseph Force Crater in New 1930-New York City. This is a Depression-era mystery laced with NYC mystique and nostalgia. Further, the writing is really, really good - Quinn possesses that quintessential Irish gift of gab and is able to transcribe such on paper. (Not as easy as you might think, by the way.) I've lived in this city for 18 months now, and am only now beginning to appreciate the historical importance of it - literally every neighborhood block deserves its own Wikipedia entry. Quinn brought me to a place I didn't even know I imagined until I started reading. It's a plot-driven novel, so I don't write to write about any details for fear of giving it away, but highly recommended.

4) Shocking True Story: The Rise and Fall of Confidential, 'America's Most Scandalous Scandal Magazine, by Henry E. Scott. America's obsession with pop culture isn't a new thing. TMZ has always existed, even before the Internet, even before the paparazzi, and well, even before TMZ. Scott delves into the history of the scandal magazine of the golden age, a rag called Confidential - a magazine that once proclaimed "Why Joe DiMaggio is Striking Out with Marilyn Monroe!" (Punny. Very, very punny.) Hollywood lives have, apparently, always been sordid, and our society's obsessions with them have always been prevalent. Scott's journalistic background shines through, and he manages to write about some really interesting, messy details with a clean distance. The treatment of Sammy Davis, Jr., both in the press and out of it, were my favorite anecdotes of the book. All things must end though, and such a fate was destined for Confidential, as well.

5) The Mullah's Storm, by Thomas Young. Fiction about GWOT is (finallly) starting to churn out, and Young's novel brings all the immediacy and relevance of a thriller with it. Set in modern Afghanistan, it starts with a transport plane going down in the middle of a harrowing blizzard in the Hindu Kush. Young's own experiences as an Air Force give the book an authentic voice, and keeps the story from drifting into "suspension of disbelief" territory. In an author's note, Young writes that "When you write fiction, your best work may come from what scares you the most ... The Mullah's Storm is an imagining of that fear [for me]." Job well done, Mr. Young, because The Mullah's Storm is now my fear too, and I'm not even a pilot.

6) The Pugilist at Rest, by Thom Jones. A collection of short stories, Jones went from an unknown to a The New Yorker darling instantaneously in the early 90s, after he sent in a short story also entitled "The Pugilist at Rest." (Wonder where he got the title for the book.) That story and "I Want to Live!" are reason enough to pick up this book, though I must warn you - Jones's writings are dark and blunt in ways that may make you uncomfortable. Like, have to put the book down and get a Jack and Coke uncomfortable. Definitely not a pick-me-up type of thing, but a bona fide exercise in modern literature and an exploration of the deepest crevices human existence can offer.

That's about all I got for now ... I guess I'm the Jon Gruden of book reviews! I enjoyed all of these reads for a variety of reasons. Bring me my Crown of Hyperbole, Mike Tirico! (To be fair, there were two books I read in the past month that I didn't like, one of which I absolutely abhorred for its' lack of self-awareness and pomp and circumstance, but I'm not going to bring this post to Negative-Town.)

Next on the docket - Gregory Martin's memoir Mountain City, about his upbringing in rural Nevada, and Raymond Carver's Cathedral, because let's face it, anyone who writes short stories wants to be Raymond Carver, sans alcoholism.

Re: Officer Retention

2011-01-06T12:26:00.002-05:00

Great article in The Atlantic about officer retention in the military. The author takes a very quantifiable and economic approach to the questions of bureaucracy and meritocracy in the officer corps, which I haven't seen done before. Well worth a read, despite the length.

One minor quibble, however - though we former officers like to pretend we were all honorable stoics in our days of service, of course quality of life impacted our decisions to leave active duty. It's both crazy and naive to think (or argue) otherwise. But considering the survey consisted of only West Pointers (many of whom, it seems, now work in the corporate world), I'm not really surprised he got the universal response that he did. Conduct a survey of former military officers that now work in their pajamas by typing words into a box, the responses might be a little different. Certainly more colorful. Just sayin'.

"The Subway Chronicles" in Mason's Road

2011-01-02T13:21:00.000-05:00

Happy 2011, interwebz. Check out my short story "The Subway Chronicles" in Mason's Road, if you get a chance.

http://www.masonsroad.com/issue-2/fiction-2/subway-chronicles/

Spirit of America

2010-11-18T11:35:00.004-05:00

Old friend and fellow former Army officer/Iraq vet Chris Hellie recently sent me a link to an organization he's involved with, named Spirit of America. A nonprofit group, Spirit of America's objective is to provide charitable goods directly to the people in war torn regions, in order to augment the efforts of American military and civilian personnel in Afghanistan, Iraq, and Africa. Frankly, I can't think of a better tool in a counterinsurgency fight - the red tape of securing funds and goods in the military is exhausting and usually takes months, and an organization like Spirit of America can fill that crucial time gap, both in pragmatic terms of distribution, and in the more abstract sense of relationship-building.

But don't my word for it! I'm sitting in a New York apartment in my boxers, after all. (Admit it, Internetz, you love that mental image. Chicken legs are all the rage.) Take it from someone who just finished Embracing the Suck in Afghanistan, like Marine commander Lt. Colonel Ben Watson, who wrote the following in an email to Jim Hake, Spirit of America's Founder and CEO:

Our success was enabled by a remarkable group of men, and you are one of them. The support that SOA provided throughout the deployment was (and I am not patronizing you) truly significant in enabling us to accomplish our mission here. There were 5 functioning schools when we arrived; now there are 20 with approximately 3,000 students (increasing every day), and the "adopt a school" program ramping up. We could not have gotten there without your support. The Afghan Security Forces are increasing their size and operational capability; the radios you provided have helped to make that happen. The swords and K-bars helped to cement key relationships that will benefit the next battalion and help to keep positive forward momentum in the Garmsir team of ISAF, ANSF and local government officials. Those are but a few key examples of how SOA has helped us to succeed here.

The full email can be found here, at Spirit of America's blog. Check out their full site if you feel so inclined, I think we'll be hearing a lot more from them in the months and years to come.

Veterans Week

2010-11-16T12:32:00.002-05:00

Even though this is my second year in New York, this is the first year I participated in Veterans Day/Week events, as I was maniacally and broodily editing the Kaboom manuscript at this point last November. (City Girl just informed me this has been "a positive evolution." Not sure I appreciate the inferences in that, but so it goes.) Anyways, as a member of IAVA (Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America), I was able to participate in some really memorable events that were both humbling and inspiring.

I spent Tuesday in DC, doing book signings at Fort Belvoir (holy field grades without combat patches, Batman!) and the National Press Club. I caught the midnight train back to NYC (surprisingly, some really strange people travel at this time ... like man talking to a toy parrot strange), and prepped for the IAVA's Heroes Gala. Held at Gotham Hall in Midtown, the Gala is part celebration, part benefit. Hosted by NBC's Brian Williams, other speakers included IAVA's founder and director Paul Rieckhoff, motivational speaker and Iraq vet J.R. Martinez, former Pittsburgh Steelers head coach Bill Cowher, and Wes Moore, author of the book The Other Wes Moore. Moore's speech proved the most memorable, as he recounted his journey from a tough upbringing in Maryland, to Valley Forge Academy, to Afghanistan, and finally to New York, where he works at Citigroup and serves as a IAVA board member. And he told a dick joke!

As the Gala ended, Williams announced that the after party would be held at a nearby Irish pub called the Galway Hooker. I *may have been* (see: was) the guy in the back of the room hooting loudly at this point. Great merriment ensued and new friends were made, all with the strictest adherence to moderation, of course. (Hi, Mom!)

The next day, the IAVA gathered at the Flatiron Building in anticipation of marching in the Veterans Day Parade. Military veterans are old hands at the "Hurry Up and Wait" game (pictured), and the IAVA gurus did a good job keeping the masses entertained, with trivia, rousing speeches by Rieckhoff, and free burritos. In fact, the burritos proved so enticing that a group of homeless individuals joined our group. Unable or unwilling to turn away street people that may very well have been veterans themselves, the volunteers handed the homeless dudes burritos and IAVA sweatshirts for good measure. (Note: homelessness isn't funny, it's a very serious concern for many people and many combat veterans. But this situation was pure comedy, and if you disagree, I. Will. Fight You.)

About 1:30 p.m. or so, we got the word - time to march. And march we did, straight up Manhattan's Fifth Avenue, following an Air Force Reserve contingent of some sort. I'm not the biggest rah-rah guy in the world, and I tend to avoid public displays and gatherings for a variety of reasons, but I'll admit ... this was different. The people that were there genuinely cared, and wanted to do nothing else but convey that to us. WWII, Korea, and Vietnam veterans, many of whom had gone ahead of us in the Parade (and ahead of us in the metaphysical sense), saluted as we walked past. The old stirrings of pride and honor returned, and it felt right, you know? Really an experience I'll treasure for the rest of my life.

But of course, I am also an irreverent asshole that values absurdity, so I was on the lookout for ridiculous signs. Mission Accomplished! My favorites:

1) Rabbis 4 Troops!
2) Support US Toops in Afghaniland
3) DOOMSDAY IS MARCH 18, 2011. PREPARE THYSELF
4) If I'm a Babykiller, what does that make Michael Jackson?
5) Bring back the Draft! Make future politicians dodge!

It turned out that this was the biggest Veterans Day Parade in the history of New York, and many people reported that the IAVA group received the loudest and most enthusiastic response, something City Girl - who was sequestered at the corner of 52nd Street with her aunt - confirmed. From there, we moved to the post-Parade party, at a place called Providence, where IAVA had catered food, Miller High Life, and most importantly, seats.

I hung out at Providence for a few hours, but had to leave early, to participate in a Veterans Day reading at the Old Stone House in Brooklyn. From there, I went home, crawled into home, and entered an exhaustion-induced coma. I don't have access to Rip-Its anymore, these long days take a toll, you dig?

Big ups and mad props to everyone who made Veterans Week so memorable! (Yes, props are best when angry.) And, of course, my thoughts, prayers, and respect go out to those that went before. See you at Fiddler's Green.

A True War Story

2010-11-13T17:11:00.000-05:00

A true war story is never moral. It does not instruct, nor encourage virtue, nor suggest models of proper human behavior, nor restrain men from doing the things men have always done. If a story seems moral, do not believe it. If at the end of a war story you feel uplifted, or if you feel that some small bit of rectitude has been salvaged from the larger waste, then you have been made the victim of a very old and terrible lie. There is no rectitude whatsoever. There is no virtue. As a first rule of thumb, therefore, you can tell a true war story by its absolute and uncompromising allegiance to obscenity and evil ... You can tell a true war story if it embarrasses you. If you don't care for obscenity, you don't care for the truth; if you don't care for the truth, watch how you vote. Send guys to war, they come home talking dirty.

- From Tim O'Brien's short story "How to Tell a True War Story"

The Internetz does Unintentional Comedy

2010-11-12T21:22:00.000-05:00

Things that are awesome - when the New York City NBC affiliate interviews you.

Things that are even more awesome - when the online gurus at said television station mix up their Veterans Day stories, so you accidentally age by 60 or so years.

BIG CLICK HERE, NO DIGGITY

In their defense, I am rather cranky and love naps.

Stand Up for Heroes Report

2010-11-08T22:43:00.004-05:00

The disconnect between civilian America and the military community is as real as it is palpable, but that doesn't mean there aren't good people and organizations out there trying to fill that gap. Bob Woodruff and the various organizations involved with Stand Up for Heroes are living proof (the Supreme Court believes corporations are individuals, so that adjective works in this modern age, yo) of such.

The evening got off to quite a start - on my way to dinner, someone jumped in front of a Subway, causing the entire line to stop while, uhh, the mess was cleaned up. Needless to say, I cabbed it, instead.

The fine people at Sears Holdings, ReMIND.org, Euro PR and the Woodruff Foundation hosted the dinner at an excellent restaurant in the Upper West Side, called Compass. (open bar + rare meat + potatoes = happy writer.) It was here I met up with some other guest milbloggers, such as Bouhammer and Colonel and Mrs. Kissinger of Military Avenue. I also had the chance to speak with Tom Aiello, a Sears Holdings Division Vice-President, West Point graduate, and former Army combat engineer officer. Sears employs over 20,000 veterans, and its' Heroes at Home project is three years running, but Aiello said the company asked itself "how can we help those veterans still serving?" This question is what led Sears to team up with the Woodruff Foundation.

A very short walk separated us from the restaurant and the famous Beacon Theatre, the location of the official STFH event. (Even the non-Cav scouts were able to navigate their way there, amazingly. The infantrymen, of course, were disappointed to be unable to SMASH SMASH anything along the chosen route.) We strolled on in, walking past General and Mrs. Casey and Bob Woodruff (pictured) who were getting the red carpet treatment, and found our seats.

I know I'm guilty of hyperbole, but I don't think I've laughed so hard in one night in a long, long time. Jon Stewart, fresh off his Rally to Restore Sanity and/or Fear domination, struck the perfect balance for a charity event host between funny and substantiative. Though Joel McHale's stuff clearly was hit-and-miss for the crowd as a whole, I've always loved his off-beat and quirky approach. And Jerry Seinfeld, who closed the event, brought down the house in classic Seinfeld "are you kidding me?!" style. But it was Bob and Lee Woodruff who earned the top comedic prize for the evening, showing a comfort and understanding of military humor and camo culture that is frankly a pretty rare thing in the brights lights of NYC. Mrs. Woodruff constantly joked about leaving Bob for one of the active duty servicemen seated in the front three rows of the theatre, and Bob only shrugged his shoulders and went along with the ribbing.

And then there was the music. Tony Bennett (yes, that Tony Bennett!) crooned like it was 1960, and gave a shout-out to his fellow Grunts in the audience. And then there was Springsteen - I now understand why every woman with a pulse in the Western world shudders at the mere mention of his name. A very memorable experience, and as Mr. Aiello recalled the next day in a telephonic interview, "his music is just so soulful." Well said.

Beyond the festivities though, was an auction and fundraising for the Woodruff Foundation. The guitar Springsteen used this night went for $140,000 by itself (!), just the tip of the iceberg in a night of very generous donations. If one needed visual proof of where these funds went, they simply needed to walk amongst the many wounded warriors attending the event - men and women who wouldn't be capable of doing so without the support of organizations like the Bob Woodruff Foundation, and people like Bob and Lee Woodruff.

Thank you to all those involved in putting together Stand Up for Heroes - it was both an amazing and a humbling experience. Please support the Bob Woodruff Foundation if you can!

Photo credit - image taken by Marcos Rivera and is property of Euro RSCG Worldwide PR.

Stand Up for Heroes 2010

2010-11-02T21:13:00.002-04:00

The blogging life isn't usually very rock n' roll, unless you consider Cheeto Puffs and singed leg hairs glamorous. Tomorrow evening though, that changes, at least temporarily. Thanks to the kind people at Sears and their Heroes at Home program, I'm getting an amazing opportunity to watch some of America's funniest comedians and most talented musicians perform for an honest to God altruistic cause - a total win-win. That's right Internetz, I'll be attending the fourth annual Stand Up for Heroes, hosted by Jon Stewart, and featuring Jerry Seinfeld, Tony Bennett, Bruce Springsteen, Max Weinberg, and many others. Put on by the Bob Woodruff Foundation and their public education movement ReMIND.org, Stand Up for Heroes is a benefit whose sole purpose is to provide help to America's wounded veterans and their families.

Woodruff, of course, is the ABC News television journalist who was seriously wounded in Iraq in January, 2006, when his convoy struck an IED. Receiving shrapnel wounds in addition to the blast impact, doctors had to remove a piece of his skull to reduce the damage from brain swelling. Woodruff spent 36 days in a medically-induced coma, and then spent months dealing with memory loss and expressive aphasia. Thirteen months after he was wounded, Woodruff returned to Iraq to visit American soldiers, certainly a testament to his strength and resolve.

During Woodruff's recovery process, he and his wife, Lee, established the Bob Woodruff Foundation, whose vision "is to provide resources and support to injured service members, veterans and their families -- building a movement to empower communities nationwide to take action to successfully reintegrate our nation’s injured heroes ... back into their communities so they may thrive physically, psychologically, socially and economically." Pragmatically speaking, they accomplish this by working with smaller, more local charities that lack the funding and name power of the Woodruff Foundation.

I spoke with Woodruff via telephone this afternoon, and he couldn't have been nicer or more forthcoming. He admitted that his personal road to recovery has been "filled with a lot of frustration" and that "though many things came back to me with time, there are some things that I'll never get back." He's also very blunt about the financial realities of veterans' care. Even after the wars end, Woodruff said, "these issues will not be going away. We're talking trillions of dollars (in care) long-term." Hope persists, though, and the Woodruff Foundation is a part of that. "If we can encourage some of these injured vets to get immediate help, be it for physical wounds or invisible ones, that'll get them when they need it the most and also reduce that (financial figure) in the long-run."

If you're in the NYC area, there are still a few tickets to Stand Up for Heroes 2010 available. And I'd encourage all of you to check out the reMIND website. "People want to help but often don't know how," Woodruff told me. "Our goal is to show them how and to remind them that they need to."

Some disclaimers:

1) I like Woodruff, and not because he's got a dapper smile, or because he's a fellow Theta Chi Brother, or because he's also a Taji vet. (The IED explosion that injured him occurred near Camp Taji, in fact.) I like him because of all three of those things.

2) As a part of attending the Stand Up For Heroes event, Sears Holdings offered to provide my travel and accommodations to New York and will provide a FlipCam to capture on-site footage. I almost wish I didn't already live here, so I could take them up on the room and board offer. No complaining here though, since they got a car service to drive me to my apartment from the Beacon Theatre after the event. Good, generous people at Sears and Euro PR.

3) Pabst Blue Ribbon recently bought the rights to my ab muscles. (6-pack? Get it?) Stay tuned for corporate-approved tattoo and/or sticker photos!

Valour-IT

2010-10-28T14:16:00.000-04:00

Below is a message from Matt Burden, of Blackfive. I've joined Team Army for this fundraiser and hope that some of you are able to contribute to a great cause - Soldiers' Angels is an amazing organization that does wonders for wounded warriors, including one of my former guys, Hot Wheels. Read on and feel free to press that forward button!

Donation Quick Link

***

Today marks the beginning of the annual Soldiers' Angels Valour-IT competition.

WHAT IS VALOUR-IT?
Project Valour-IT began when Captain Charles "Chuck" Ziegenfuss was wounded by an IED while serving as commander of a tank company in Iraq in June 2005.

During his deployment he kept a blog. Captivating writing, insightful stories of his experiences, and his self-deprecating humor won him many loyal readers. After he was wounded, his wife continued his blog, keeping his readers informed of his condition.

As he began to recover, CPT Ziegenfuss wanted to return to writing his blog, but serious hand injuries hampered his typing. When a loyal and generous reader gave him a copy of the Dragon Naturally Speaking Preferred software, other readers began to realize how important such software could be to CPT Ziegenfuss' fellow wounded soldiers and started cast about for a way to get it to them.

"At that time I had no use of either hand. I know how humbling it is, how humiliating it feels. And I know how much better I felt, how amazingly more functional I felt, after Soldiers' Angels provided me with a laptop and a loyal reader provided me with the software. I can't wait to do the same, to give that feeling to another soldier at Walter Reed." - Captain Chuck Ziegenfuss at TC Override (wounded in Iraq)

Project Valour-IT, in memory of SFC William V. Ziegenfuss (Captain Chuck Ziegenfuss' father), provides voice-controlled software and laptop computers to wounded Soldiers, Sailors, Airmen and Marines recovering from hand and arm injuries, amputations, eye or brain injuries, at major military medical centers. Operating laptops by speaking into a microphone, our wounded heroes are able to send and receive messages from friends and loved ones, surf the 'Net, and communicate with buddies still in the field without having to press a key or move a mouse.

Folks, I've witnessed several wounded soldiers set up their laptops only to email or Skype their friends and comrades in the war zone to let them know that they are okay. Keeping them in communication with loved ones increases the possibility of a successful recovery exponentially.

THE COMPETITION
In order to fund the thousands of laptops we have distributed and need to distribute, we have an annual competition.
Valour-IT's online fundraising competition begins today! Let's see who can raise the most money to help reconnect our wounded warriors with the world!

WHAT: Friendly fundraising competition for Valour-IT.
WHEN: October 28th through Veterans Day, November 11th .
WHERE: Based in the blogosphere, spreading everywhere else.
WHY: Because giving wounded warriors with hand and arm injuries access to a computer supports their healing and puts them back in touch with the world.
HOW: Blogger teams will be divided along military branches, with civilians "up for grabs."

Support the Troops? Then Senator Reid is the only option

2010-10-14T22:57:00.005-04:00

I hope most of my readership understands that I try to keep this blog as apolitical as possible. I dislike dividing people in that way, and not just because some of my best friends from high school, college, and the Army disagree with my politics. I'm a liberal, sure, but I love God, guns, and freedom as much as the next American. (I'm being 100% serious about all of that.)

So why am I posting this? Because Sharron Angle scares me that much.

It's not her politics. Nor is it her cultivated persona. I simply don't find her to be a person of substance, and that infuriates me as a Nevadan and as an American citizen. Being a United States Senator is a BIG deal. Whether we send our best and brightest to Congress is a different issue altogether, but that's what we should aspire for. And after watching her hollow, shallow, and yes, tacky, performance tonight at the debate with Senator Reid, I decided to post this piece here. I expect some ugly "discourse" in the comments section between anonymous assholes, because hey, that's what makes the Internet great. Just do me a favor, and read this piece understanding the perspective of the person who wrote it - a young veteran from Nevada who wants those that govern him to be for something, rather than against everything.

One last note: I submitted this to every major newspaper in the state of Nevada, and it is structured for such a format. I never heard back from a one of them. Maybe it's because I'm no longer living there (though still voting there!), maybe it's because their editors hate Irish people, or maybe it's because the piece exceeded the maximum word count for a letter to the editor by 800 or so words. Who knows.

   Like most Nevadans, I’ve observed our Senatorial race between Harry Reid and Sharron Angle with great interest and concern. Inevitably, most media outlets chronicle this race in terms of national impact; for Nevadans however, the results of this election will be felt far more locally and personally. As an Iraq War veteran who served in the U.S. Army in Baghdad Province from 2007-09, I’ve paid particular attention to each candidate’s handling of veterans’ issues. And though I’ve had occasional misgivings with Senator Reid’s body of work over the years, I’ve come to realize that his support of military veterans and their families has remained steadfast and clear, while Angle’s understanding of the concerns of a modern all-volunteer force – specifically her recent suggestion that we should privatize the Department of Veterans Affairs, a statement she subsequently backtracked from – leaves much to be desired. As both a voter and as a veteran, it seems clear that if one supports the troops, casting a vote for Reid – and against Angle – is the only viable option.
   I’m no Reid mouthpiece. I’ve argued heatedly with various Reid supporters on our Senator’s stances over the years, particularly when Senator Reid criticized General Petraeus and the Surge in Iraq in 2007, something I ended up participating in as a scout platoon leader. But though Senator Reid’s opinion on this strategic maneuver differed with mine, his positive impact on the lives of Nevada’s veterans cannot be ignored. His support and cosponsoring of the Post-9/11 GI Bill in 2008 provided a new generation of combat veterans educational opportunities in line with those provided the World War II and Vietnam veterans; it’s easy to say that veterans deserve more education benefits, but Senator Reid, as the majority leader, made it happen. Further, his campaign to bring a new, state of the art veterans’ hospital to southern Nevada will be complete in 2012. This VA facility will ensure that Nevada’s physically and mentally injured veterans will receive more timely and accessible care. Again, it’s easy to say such platitudes, it’s quite another to produce a pragmatic solution for such. Senator Reid did so.
   Conversely, Sharron Angle claimed she wants to abolish our current VA system, before then stating she had never said such a thing at all. Just to be clear, getting rid of our current VA system would include the aforementioned new facility. When I first read her quotation on privatizing the VA, I was shocked that any serious candidate for political office would ever say such a thing, let alone say such a thing in a time of war. So I sought out the interview and studied the context of her statement. It does appear that her statement was made in passing, and the question of whether or not she has actually given this careful thought lingers. But she broached the topic, nonetheless, so I began to think what such privatizing of the VA would mean. On the surface, it satisfies vague, pithy catchphrases like “big government is bad” and “private healthcare is better than public healthcare.” But I’m not sure what such a proposition would accomplish beyond that. If Angle's "plan" were to actually go through, standardized treatments and definitions for things like TBI (traumatic brain injury) and PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder) would be left up to subjective interpretation. Veterans at a VA clinic in Reno might not receive as good of treatment as veterans at a VA clinic in Las Vegas, even though the have the same issues, because some local bureaucrat ordered the wrong equipment. And mental health counselors wouldn't all be keyed into a unified community, to swap experiences of what works and what doesn't work - something beyond vital given the rising suicide statistics of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans.
   The VA is clearly not infallible. Its reputation as a slow-moving institution is well chronicled and deserved. But it does a lot of wonderful things that often get overlooked – I’ve seen it firsthand with some of my former soldiers. When the goal of an organization is to make money, I understand the call for privatization. But while the VA should strive for efficiency, that's not why it exists. One of the greatest benefits of VA hospitals is the veterans’ community it creates; it's well documented that healing in a group environment is vital for vets' recovery processes, be them for physical or mental wounds. Further, regular hospitals aren't necessarily equipped to deal with the unique conditions war veterans bring, while VA doctors, nurses, administrators, and mental health counselors deal with nothing else. I can't imagine how isolated a vet would feel if he went to a local hospital, run by and surrounded by civilians, seen by doctors who may not have any background or expertise with veteran treatment. And that’s exactly what would happen if the Department of Veterans Affairs were privatized.
   I’m sure Sharron Angle has no ill will toward Nevada’s military veterans, and supports the troops in her own way. I’m also inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt and think that her call for VA privatization was either a misstatement or rushed. But she said it, and her subsequent assertion that she hadn’t is both misleading and confounding, considering the interview in question occurred on the record. Even in the best of light, her statement comes across as reckless and dangerous to the veteran community of Nevada. For us, these policies are our lifelines, and why Senator Reid will be getting my vote come Election Day.

Short story sample - The Sheik's Daughter

2010-10-06T18:02:00.010-04:00

Hello, interwebz. I'm finishing up a 30-page short story entitled The Sheik's Daughter, and figured I'd share a selection. You know, for feedback and such. It's like a digital workshop, with anonymity instead of donut holes. Anyways ...

The Sheik’s Daughter
Author’s Note: Do I believe the following events happened? Not really. Not in the way chronicled, at least. I spent a tour of duty in this very same Iraqi village, only a couple years later, and walked the same streets, knew the same people, slept in the same outpost. Some of this will seem dubious, and maybe even impossible. That’s certainly how I reacted when I first heard it. And yet … and yet there’s still a magic there when Shaba’s name gets mentioned. Still a sense of awe, as if saying his name too loudly will bring him back. And it wasn’t just the locals who acted like that. The American unit we replaced did, too. So maybe there’s something to this, after all. And if the people who were there say this is what happened, who am I to say otherwise? When there’s no victor left to write a proper history, those of us still here should simply be thankful that any piece of the story remains.

I.
While the American brushfire wars raged on in late 2006, the men of Bravo Company, 2nd Battalion, 48th Infantry Regiment hunkered down for the winter in their combat outpost, a large compound in the center of a village. They knew that their enemy, the nameless and faceless and numberless insurgent, did not like to attack in weather this cold. This village, called Ashuriyah by the locals, sat close enough to Baghdad to be a part of the everlong sectarian battles, but far enough away that any connection with the great Iraqi metropolis, be them guerilla or counterinsurgent, got severed by sand dunes and isolation and apathy. The fact was, no war would be won or lost in Ashuriyah, but the fighting would continue there, nonetheless. Just not now. Not during the winter.
The men of Bravo Company knew this because Farrell had told them so. Farrell was one of their own, a staff sergeant who served as a squad leader for Bravo Company’s first platoon, but the local Iraqis called him “Shaba” – the Ghost. During a late-night mission, one of his many contacts had approached him at a street corner. In a hushed, whispered conversation, the contact explained that both the Shi’a insurgents of Jaish al-Mahdi and the Sunni insurgents of Al-Qaeda had brokered a temporary peace between one another for the upcoming three months. They had approached him, he explained to Farrell, “to learn if Shaba and the Americans wanted this peace, too. It is too cold to fight.”
Unlike every other soldier in Ashuriyah, Farrell didn’t need an interpreter to speak with the Iraqis. He had taught himself Arabic over the course of his previous deployment. It was a part of the reason the locals loved him and the insurgents feared him; they had never known an American who could communicate directly with them. On more than one occasion, he had learned the whereabouts of wanted men, simply by playing dumb and listening to the chatter of the populace, who had grown used to talking about the Americans right in front of their faces without them knowing about it. Due to his sharp black hair and brown skin and slight stature, many in the village even whispered that he was actually one of their own, the son of a rich Iraqi family that bought their way out of the Middle East to escape Saddam and his secret police. Actually half-Bolivian and half-Irish, when asked about his heritage, Shaba sometimes encouraged these rumors with a wink, though never with words. Those who knew him best described him as an emotional jack-in-the-box – no matter what poking and prodding occurred, he rarely expressed himself. When he did, such occurred on his own terms, and usually in a burst of raw spontaneity.
Farrell looked across the street at the two officers on the patrol – Captain Tilsdale and Lieutenant Robbins – and told his contact that, “yes, the Americans agree. We won’t attack as long as they don’t attack us.” Farrell knew that Lieutenant Robbins, his platoon leader, would understand and agree. Captain Tilsdale, Bravo Company’s commander and the ranking man in Ashuriyah, wouldn’t, but Farrell knew he wouldn’t even notice the protracted change in operations. The captain tended to spend his time and energy on preparing PowerPoint slides for meetings with Higher, and spent many days away from the outpost at the large forward operating base, located one hour away, where the comforts of hot showers and large chow halls and the gym existed.

II.
Later that night, while standing on the outpost’s roof, alone, Farrell explained the brokered deal to his lieutenant. He liked his platoon leader, but like he did with most officers, he found Lieutenant Robbins to be lazy and prone to utilizing delegation as a crutch.
“Sir,” Farrell said, “we only have five months left. This will cover most of that time. Bravo Company has already lost twelve men. We’ve done our part.”
“Hmm.” The lieutenant muttered while thinking, and hoped it made him sound pensive. He did not care for the war or about the war. He simply wanted to get home to his wife and two young sons, and get his soldiers home, too. He considered joining the military the biggest mistake of his life, and looked forward to crunching numbers mindlessly in a cubicle someday. Unlike the captain – who told all of his junior officers that true leaders of men were the biggest and strongest guys around – Lieutenant Robbins also didn’t care much for lifting weights. His body type resembled that of a roly poly, and the members of his platoon affectionately called him “Lieutenant Bitch Tits,” something he didn’t necessarily mind. He had heard worse nicknames for officers from soldiers.
“We’re not really setting up the next unit for success,” the lieutenant eventually said.
“Sir, you know how it is. They’re gonna get tested and blown up that first month, no matter what we do. It always happens. It happened with us and it’ll happen with them and it’ll happen with the guys that replace them.”
“Hmm.” The lieutenant tugged at his bottom lip and stroked his slung rifle. “Think they’ll stick to it?”
“Who?”
“The bad guys. Al-Qaeda. Jaish al-Mahdi. Think they’ll stick to it?”
Farrell leaned back, shrugged his shoulders, and pulled out a pouch of chewing tobacco. After putting a pinch in his mouth, he offered some to Lieutenant Robbins, who said no and shook his head. Farrell took a deep breath and then spoke in a slur, due to the wad of tobacco nestled in his cheeks. “I don’t know about the Shi’as. Jaish al-Mahdi – at least here – isn’t very well organized. But I think the Sunnis will. Sheik Ahmed made the call on this, not al-Qaeda. They’ll just have to go along with it. Even they won’t defy him.”
In an effort to avoid eye contact, both men looked out into the black, beyond the T-wall barriers and mazes of razor wire that surrounded the outpost. Pale, blinking lights were scattered sporadically across the village, as only those locals wealthy enough to purchase their own generators received consistent electricity.
A blood moon hung over Ashuriyah, staining the horizon in a crusty splotch. Farrell remembered the last time he had seen a moon like this, back in Afghanistan, sometime in 2003. Or had it been 2004? The deployments were starting to blur.
“You trust Sheik Ahmed?” Lieutenant Robbins asked.
“Definitely.”
The lieutenant snickered, the type of snicker that betrayed a feeling other than amusement. “Be careful, Sergeant Farrell. Even though I’d swear under oath that I don’t, I know what’s going on and where you go at night after missions.” He rubbed his own arms and shivered, even though the winter’s chill this night could hardly be described as such. “It’s cold. I’m heading back inside. Remember, tomorrow morning’s patrol brief is at 10.”
Farrell avoided the temptation to blink, counted silently to three, and then spoke. “Hey, Sir,” he called out to the backside of his lieutenant, who subsequently turned around. “Listen to the village. No gunfire tonight.”
The lieutenant nodded. “I noticed. It’s a welcome change. But the guys will all figure it out. Don’t think they won’t. You should be the one to explain it to them, so they hear it from you and trust the change.” Then he spun back around and walked into the outpost. Farrell stayed on the roof.

The WLA Conference

2010-09-21T15:11:00.000-04:00

This past weekend I flew to Colorado to attend the inaugural WLA (War, Literature and the Arts) Conference, hosted at the Air Force Academy. I'll admit now to being a bit nervous - the very nature of conferences rattle my introvert bones. But I really can't overstate how much I learned and how much I enjoyed myself, simply by being in the presence of other military nerds.

Some random thoughts thought (and subsequently written) randomly:

1) Dexter Filkins, one of the keynote speakers and author of The Forever War, was as informed as anyone I've ever heard speak on the subject of Afghanistan. Dude is legit.

2) Pre-order Siobhan Fallon's You Know When the Men Are Gone right ... now. I had the pleasure of speaking on the same panel as her, and she is as nice as she is professional. On top of it, her book is really, really good. I started it on the airplane back to New York, and will finish it just as soon as City Girl gives it back to me, as it was immediately confiscated for her reading pleasure.

3) Captain Jesse Goolsby, who teaches war literature and creative writing at the Air Force Academy, put the whole conference together pretty much all by his lonesome. He's also an excellent writer himself - his stuff has been published in a number of literary magazines, including the host publication, The WLA Journal.

4) Mark Boal, the screenwriter for The Hurt Locker, deserves to get punched in the face. (There, someone said it.) It's no secret how I and many Iraq veterans feel about the film; I've since mellowed on it a bit, realizing that it called attention to veterans' issues for the American public, no matter how inaccurately, and that's an important thing for our society. While answering some questions at the WLA Conference though, Boal (another keynote speaker) came off as abrupt and patronizing, in my opinion. He simultaneously claimed The Hurt Locker attempted to "stay true to the realities on the ground" while preemptively reminding the audience "this is fiction" and "not a manual." Doublespeak, at it's finest - if it's fiction, don't present and market it otherwise. Because if you do, you better be ready to deal with the critiques of subject matter experts - in this case, Iraq vets. When I pressed this point, asking him how he and his team blended these two conflicting ideas creatively, he said that they never made creative compromises - only logistical (i.e. financial) ones. This came after he admitted the fallacious sniper scene was included because of its "cool" factor. And don't even get me started on how blatant uniform fuck-ups somehow become logistical issues ... I could ramble about this topic for hours, so I'll just stop here. /END RANT

5) I really wish I hadn't missed Brian Turner's poetry reading on Saturday afternoon, but time constraints burned me, berry berry badly.

5) There's a bunch of other people, books, and ideas not getting mentioned here that deserve to, but I'm drawing a blank at the moment, and have places to go, people to see, papers to write.

Oh, and yeah, the Great American Beer Festival in Denver was insane for all the right reasons. Though I'm still sweating pretzel, for some reason.

Truckin'

2010-09-13T22:21:00.001-04:00

I thought I'd give Kerplunk a bit of a pulse check. All's well, just getting into the swing of things with school and structure and such. I also just haven't felt compelled to blog recently ... I'd much rather read, analyze, and ponder right now than ride the accelerated culture beast to daily Internet burnout. Not swearing off blogging/new media by any means, I just know not to force it when it's not feeling right. (Double negatives be damned.)

This though, did feel right. It's a letter to America from Iraq and Afghanistan veterans asking our fellow citizens to cool it with the anti-Muslim sentiment in some parts of the country. I didn't write it, but I was happy to add my name to the signatory list. As always, avoid the comments section at all costs. Assholes are one thing, but anonymous assholes are quite another. I mean really, could General Petraeus have been any more clear on this issue? Stop. Being. Stupid.

This is How a War Ends

2010-08-25T11:38:00.001-04:00

Not with a bang, but with a ... media-hyped faux exit?

It has been just about a week since U.S. combat troops officially left Iraq. That'd be swell and all, if I didn't know some of the combat troops still in Iraq conducting advise-and-assist missions there. Initially, my anger matched theirs at the fraudulence of all this ceremony; if we're going to end something, let's really end it. But the Iraq War has never allowed for that type of clarity. For a conflict that infamously had a media-hyped faux victory declaration ("Mission Accomplished"), doesn't a gradual drawdown highlighted by a media-hyped faux exit make sense? If nothing else, one has to appreciate the symmetry of it all.

The big questions revolving around Iraq - was it worth it? (probably not, but unless you have access to Doc Brown's DeLorean, rehashing it only leads to Tylenol), can it stabilize? (no one really knows, but methinks Sadr will play an instrumental role one way or another), and did we win? (well, we didn't lose, but the term "winning" suggests something else entirely ... counterinsurgency, even at its finest, is ugly in its ambiguity) - have been discussed ad nauseam, and these discussions are readily available in books and on the web to anyone willing to seek them out. For me, and I suspect many of my fellow Iraq veterans, watching the news footage of Strykers and Humvees creep into the Kuwaiti desert brought us back to a time and a place where bigger questions than those big questions existed. Back to our wars, whether they were in the 2003 Invasion, the 2005 sectarian civil war, the 2008 Surge, or all of the above. Back to the sand, back to the grind, back to the fear. And it's important to remember that this war isn't over for all of us. But still, even if this withdrawal of combat troops was only symbolic ... symbols serve a purpose. So while this may not be the clean, straightforward exit from battle we as Americans have come to expect, it wasn't totally hollow, either. So that's something, at least.

This is how our war ends. Not with bang, but not quite with a whimper, either. More like an extended coughing fit.

Revisiting the WaPo Article

2010-08-18T11:26:00.007-04:00

Ever since this Washington Post article by Ernesto Londono came out chronicling the rise and fall of Kaboom the blog, the question of the blog's official registration with my unit has been a point of inquiry for both readers and lecture attendees. Most recently, this came up in an interview for a magazine profile. As best as I can gather, the confusion regarding this emanates from a specific part of the Post article:

Lt. Col. Steve Stover, a military spokesman, said in an e-mail that Kaboom was "deemed by the commander to be counter to good order and discipline of his unit." He added that the blog had not been registered with the military, an assertion Dennis Gallagher disputes.

So, here's my take, for what it's worth. There was a form we turned in before the deployment that counted as our "registration." It asked for basic info, like our name, rank, and blog URL. I filled it out in five minutes and turned it in to my troop (company) leadership. Whether or not that made it all the way up to LTC Stover, I don't know - bureaucracy is a messed up thing - but for them to outrightly say that I hadn't registered was, at best, inaccurate, and at worst, reactionary and lazy. It's also likely my father used more pointed language than "I dispute that."

Unfortunately, being the foolish and petulant lieutenant that I was, I didn't make a copy of that registration form. It's not like I was planning on provoking the ire of the Camo Establishment, you know? And in the fallout of the WaPo article, as I got lectured/chewed out for all kinds of things, the possibility of punishment for not registering the blog was vaguely floated. Then, struck by genius lightning, I pointed out that in March 2008 (three months before Kaboom went kaput), USA Today quoted me in an article about military blogs. I had tied in our Brigade's PAO officer when contacted for this article, so clearly any red flags regarding my blog's registration status would've been raised at that point.

The vague threats for this and everything else soon went away, and I got back to the whole war thing. Never even was issued a counseling statement for the whole ordeal, and I got promoted to captain the next month. But LTC Stover's accusation had already been published, and the WaPo never followed up on it, so it was never resolved in any public manner.

Andrew Exum is fond of saying that conspiracy is, more often than not, really just institutional incompetence, as he does here in a book review. And, thanks to my time serving at the behest of Uncle Sam, I'm inclined to agree. And it is with such a thought that I ascribe LTC Stover's misstatement as a PAO book-keeping issue, rather than something more nefarious. They were in a tough place a the time - Big Army wanted to know why the blog had been shut down, they didn't know, and they were the ones who were supposed to be in the know. But I'm also fully aware that hanging me out to dry for an unregistered blog - whether true or not - was the easiest and least messy answer possible for a lot of people.

Thank Allah, Baby Jesus, and Grace O'Malley the Pirate Queen alike for that bolt of genius lightning.

Just another Twentysomething looking for a job

2010-08-16T12:27:00.005-04:00

Hi interwebz-

As Kaboom's hardcover book tour winds down, I'm preparing to reenter a more normal sort of living, if grad school can be accurately described in such a way. And part of this normality is paying for said schooling, which of course, means working for a paycheck. Considering the diverse and surprisingly connected nature of this blog's readership, I thought I'd consult all of you as I begin my job search.

First, the facts: I'm based in NYC, and am looking for something in the neighborhood of 20 hours per week. While something related to academia or writing makes sense, I'm not above any kind of job - I've worked for McDonald's, Barnes & Noble, and the U.S. Army in the past, after all. (I kid, Uncle Sam.) Bartending and/or tutoring seem the best options currently, and may very well stay that way, but who knows what else is out there, right?

So, if you can possibly/maybe/potentially help a young scribe out, drop me a line at kaboomwarjournal@gmail.com, and I'll respond in kind with a resume. Thanks for any consideration!

Call for Fiction Submissions

2010-08-15T13:18:00.004-04:00

Below is a message from my friend Roy, over at Caribou. You a veteran of Iraq or Afghanistan and write fiction? Submit! I did. Feel free to disregard that August 15 deadline, I have it on good authority it's being pushed back a couple weeks.

***

CALL FOR SUBMISSIONS

Do you write fiction? Did you serve in Iraq or Afghanistan?

We are Iraq and Afghanistan war veterans looking for short stories

(1500-7000 words) by other military veterans who served in Iraq and/or

Afghanistan. We seek high quality, literary fiction that touches in

some way on military or wartime experience, either downrange or back

home, for an anthology of veterans’ writing. National Book

Award-winner Colum McCann will be editing. Please send your story as a

word document or pdf to gwotstories@gmail.com, along with a brief bio

specifying your publishing credits and military service, by August 15,

2010. We seek original stories or reprints (if you own rights)

Why America needs the Draft

2010-08-09T10:57:00.009-04:00

In the waning days of the Vietnam War, the American military made a slow - though ultimately momentous - transition to an all-volunteer force. Considering the state of the armed forces at the time, not to mention the cultural gap in the country as a whole, it's hard to fault President Nixon and friends with such a decision. For a nation still wrestling with its role as a global leader (positive!) and/or as an imperialist regime (negative!), while dealing with social upheaval at home, an all-volunteer (or "professional") force must've appeared like an ideal compromise. It certainly seemed the correct solution during the skirmishes of the 1980's and Desert Storm in 1990-91 - we steamrolled communists and dictators alike, never getting immersed in protracted conflict, and victory parades tended to last longer than the actual battles. This professional force fit the modern American narrative well - dreams could be made in or out of uniform, but no authoritative institution was going to dictate where a young person was going to seek out such dreams. (The dark underside of this narrative, of course, was the continuation of tired stereotypes in popular culture regarding the intelligence and economic backgrounds of those who served, but that's slightly irrelevant to the point of this piece.)

Then came that whole Global War on Terrorism thing.

Nearly nine years after our war in Afghanistan kicked off, and more than seven years after Iraq was, uhh, liberated, a warrior caste entirely separate and distinct from the nation that produced it has evolved into being. The burden of many is being carried by very few. Soldiers deploy two, three, even four times, while combat zones become their definition of normality. Meanwhile ... American society does not comprehend. Let me reiterate that. They. Do. Not. Comprehend.

I do believe that most Americans care. They support the troops, in the classic "I don't know what to say to war vets or do for war vets" kind of way. When people shake my hand and thank me for serving, it does means a lot, and is appreciated. On a personal, micro level, that's often all anyone can do. If particularly connected, devoted, or understanding, a person works with soldier/veteran organizations and gives back in a practical, direct fashion. But that's not something many people do, for a variety of reasons. So the question raises itself - what can be done on a macro level?

In the initial months after my return from Iraq, I busted out my soapbox of self-righteousness, often blaming individuals for this disconnect between warrior and civilian. But as I've transitioned gradually back into the role of a citizen, I've come to understand there's a grander failure to blame for the stated societal gap. People have their own lives, the economy sucks, and day-to-day life drains. As Plato once said, "be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." And yet ... We have young men and women in hellholes around the globe fighting in our name, regardless of our politics and beliefs. We all own these wars, and are all responsible for them, whether we like it or not. Simply asking people to care and be engaged is not enough. They - and by they, I mean society in general - won't care unless they are engaged themselves, directly. It's depressing, but a reality, nonetheless. For a country steeped in the merits of representing all facets of the population, at least in theory, something clearly has gone awry in terms of who's fighting the wars. There is a class element to all this, though it's not as pronounced or as clear as it was during Vietnam. But it's still there, and why nearly every one of my soldiers came from the south or the midwest.

During Kaboom's book tour this spring and summer, I've heard from soldiers, veterans, and vets' families alike on this. And more often than not, an angry, resentful condemnation comes out: "What have they been asked to sacrifice?" Beyond the dangers of grand, sweeping proclamations like "us" and "them" are kernels of truth. And the answer to their question is ... very little. There's the obvious, in terms of physical blood, sweat, and tears sacrificed abroad. Meanwhile, economically speaking, this is the first time in America's history taxes have been lowered during a time of war. And can you imagine the idea of the government selling war bonds today? On that macro level I discussed earlier, has any element of American life been altered due to the wars in Afghanistan or Iraq?

Which brings me back to the Draft. I've become more and more convinced that a healthy republic needs conscription to keep it healthy and honest. The gulf discussed isn't anyone's fault, an unforeseen byproduct of the all-volunteer force - but this gulf must be filled, unless we're intent on recreating Legions loyal to their commanders over country. (An extreme example. We're nowhere near there. Yet.) The Draft would be controversial, debated, and very likely protested. All good things in a properly functioning people's government. Meanwhile, the benefits of such would be twofold:

1) The citizenry would actually hold their political leaders accountable, as they're supposed to. Apathy being a republic/democracy's worst enemy is not a new understanding, but it remains a poignant one. Let's face it - the justifications for going to Iraq in 2003 were, at best, exaggerated and misunderstood. While the world raged in anger, America collectively yawned, giving our leaders the ultimate in passive-aggressive approvals. Think that would've happened if the lives of affluent youth were on the line? Think again. Maybe with a Draft, we still end up in Iraq - but in that case, we'd have found some damn legitimate reason to do so beyond purported weapons of mass destruction. (Oh, you think deposing a maniacal dictator qualifies? Let's invade 80% of the world then!) Could another Vietnam happen, where society is rope-a-doped into a protracted conflict? Sure, potentially, though I think it's unlikely for a couple generations, given the lessons learned from these wars. (Famous last words? Likely.) But even if such were to happen, at least it's then on everyone rather than a select few.

2) Wars would become a collective undertaking by the nation as a whole, rather than an isolated segment of the population. This would prove beneficial to both society and to the military. The number of sons and daughters involved would greatly increase, thus increasing personal connections and a sense of engagement, thus increasing product output. I'm talking war drive stuff here, yo, leaps and bounds beyond a yellow ribbon sticker on the back of a bumper. Further, as stated above, the citizenry (theoretically) would be actively invested in the war's progression, rather than observing from a distance like a fan at a sporting event. As for the military, reinstituting the Draft would shore up that pesky lack of manpower. If we're going to keep getting into long-term, guerilla wars in landlocked countries, that'll prove kind of-sort of-definitely vital in the future. (Don't blame me. People much smarter than me have forecasted small, little wars as the way of tomorrow.)

Here's a couple preemptive attacks against potential retorts:

1) No, crazy graying hippie, the modern soldier is not a mercenary. More often than not, they join(ed) the service for honorable and profound reasons. That said, if we allow this separate warrior caste to continue to evolve for a few more generations, who knows what the result may be. Probably closer to Robert Heinlein's vision of a warrior-citizen, but still not what we've historically desired in America, where the citizen-soldier is revered and celebrated.

2) No, loony tune protestor, I'm not glorifying war. War sucks, and I don't mean that facetiously. It's absolutely the worst thing humanity has to offer. But it will continue to happen in the future, just as it always happened in the past. And young people will continue to be willing to fight for societies that don't deserve them. Don't shoot the messenger. So to speak.

3) No, rabid Army fanatic, I don't think the Draft would destroy the armed services as we know them. But the effects of the Draft on the military is an altogether different topic. Let's tackle that one some other day, and for now, just realize that if the Army can accept women and gays, it'll probably make soft, spoiled Caucasians just as welcome.

4) No, illiterate Bush apologist, my feelings about the Iraq invasion don't have to neatly equate to my feelings about counterinsurgency in Iraq in 2010. Complexity! It's what's for dinner.

5) And no, logical reader, I don't believe the Draft would work perfectly solve all our ills, be them personally, domestically, or globally. No doubt, the rich would find a way to weasel their children out of the Draft one way or another. But let's at least make them earn that deferment, you dig?

Missing It

2010-08-03T13:00:00.003-04:00

I woke up the other morning to a text from a good friend who, like me, served in Iraq as a platoon leader, and like me, separated from the Army at the end of his initial commitment. "Don't you just feel like kicking in a door again?" he asked. Though platoon leaders tend not to be the door-kickers, I understood his broader point, and replied with "damn straight."

I've been out of the military for just over a year now, and I've been shocked at how much I miss (parts of) it. The camaraderie, of course, can't be replaced in the civilian world, nor can the ability to act like a boorish 16-year old with a gun. (I'll leave it to the reader's judgment whether or not the latter is a positive or a negative). But the pure sense of purpose we had in combat is what I long for the most. The missions changed day-to-day obviously, as did our tasks and purpose, but at its base level, soldiering in Iraq offered a clarity normal life can't. "Kill or be killed" felt a lot more pressing than "Pick up a gallon of milk," you know?

Of my friends and peers who left the service the same time I did, I'd say roughly half have expressed interest in returning for the reasons outlined above. Civilian life is boring, they'll say, or At least the bullshit in the Army mattered. One close friend stated outright that he was certain he'd get sued for accidental sexual harassment if he worked in corporate America another day, because "women don't have a sense of humor." (His words, not mine.) I understand their arguments - for all its faults and dangers, the Army and combat offer thrills and adventure. It's easy to get addicted to that, but not so easy to kick.

The other half of my friends, though, want nothing to do with returning to service. More often than not, these guys lost something or someone over there, rather than getting lucky with their close calls. For them, thrill and adventure are boyish fantasies of a past life. They may long for the camaraderie, and usually detest the civilian mindset as much as the other group, but they are as done with the service as done can be.

(Two quick caveats: One, I'm aware the sample size of junior officers I cite is tiny, and should not be utilized for statistical purposes. Two, the current climate of the economy must be referenced as a factor in retention, as well.)

I think I fall somewhere in between of these two camps. My platoon and I were very lucky in that we lost no one, and the only real tragedy that befell us was the Hot Wheels incident - which he survived. I miss the people in the Army everyday. But I don't really miss the Army. I don't miss the endless series of PowerPoint presentations. I don't miss the empowered clowns misconstruing and mangling their Higher's orders while passing them down to us. And I don't miss being away from my friends and family for months on end.

As an officer, the only real opportunity one has to soldier is as a platoon leader. Commanding a company sounds intriguing, though it's still nothing like being a PL, but even that is only 18 months of a twenty-year career. Even if I were to sign back up, moving from the IRR back to active duty, I couldn't go back and be a scout platoon leader. The bureaucracy simply won't allow for it; there's a whole new crop of bright-eyed lieutenants eager for the opportunity to lead soldiers and Marines. And good on them for such. So, I remind myself, even if the mind has diluted various memory shards of the negative times, it wouldn't be the same. Office Space in Camo as a staff officer would await, not door-kicking. I joined the Army to lead, and lead I did. But I got out because I didn't want to manage, and manage I would. Eminem wrote a song about the world turning. Apply it accordingly. And don't click that link if you hate rap or profanity.

Anyways, off to get a gallon of whole milk! This bowl of Golden Grahams won't eat itself.

Book TV airing

2010-08-01T18:44:00.003-04:00

Here's a link to the Book TV coverage of Kaboom, which aired on CSPAN-2 today. The event itself took place in June at the DC bookstore Politics & Prose. Hope you enjoy!

Book TV link

My GWOT Reading List

2010-07-27T23:41:00.022-04:00

Like most sane individuals, I've been spending the past week or so drooling mindlessly next to an air conditioner, in a futile attempt to escape the sun waterboarding us all into submission. In the mean time, I've received some emails asking for recommendations on other Iraq/Afghanistan-related books. Ask, and you shall receive. But first, as always, a few unrelated rambles.

1) I have nothing profound or new to add to this latest Wikileaks thing. It's long, accurately and contextually captures war as the worst thing humanity has to offer, and Julian Assange still looks like a lesbian from Seattle. Concurrently, my pal Andrew Exum sounds intelligent and convincing in this New York Times Op-Ed about it all, and I felt smarter and more informed after reading it. I suggest you do the same.

2) I've moved from Brooklyn to Manhattan, mainly to be closer to grad school. I won't be changing the subtitle of the blog, predominantly because I love alliteration too much and couldn't think of anything equally catchy. I promise much of my social life still revolves around Brooklyn though, so I'm not a total fraud! And rants about yuppies are much more fun than rants about hipsters.

3) I've just now discovered the band Animal Collective. I know I'm late to the party, but I was deployed when they made it big, so my indie cred card remains in the wallet. (So says my indie cred card dealer, at least.) If you're looking for new alt./indie music, give them a shot.

4) My Kaboom speech from Politics & Prose in DC will air this Sunday (August 1) on Book TV, channel CSPAN-2, at 4pm and 11pm. Link to follow after it airs. If you have friends or family holding out on my book because CSPAN hasn't covered it yet, make them watch!

5) I don't know why more people don't die by poorly-installed air conditioners plummeting to the ground from apartments in the sky. It's a good thing I'm strong like bull, because that experience is not nearly as easy as it should be. Good Allah.

6) Some of my former soldiers currently deployed assure me it's hotter in Iraqistan than it is Stateside. Who am I argue? God bless them, and I treasure every email and Facebook message that tells me they're bored out of their minds. They've done enough. FOB on gentlemen, FOB on!

7) Weddings are wonderful celebrations of love and life. I'll be attending my fifth of the summer this weekend. I'm sick of them, as they hemorrhage money for all involved and inevitably cross that authentic/contrived cheese line for all involved except for those participating in said infraction. And let's face it, at best, they only have a 50% chance of working out, nowadays. It's the life equivalent of signing Ron Artest or Terrell Owens to a multiyear, guaranteed contract.

Now. Other GWOT-related books I've enjoyed. Here's a short list. I preface this by saying that yes, I've read a lot of what is out there, both to educate myself and out of pure curiosity. And sure, I keep up on the topic now to scope out the competition. Also, understand that I lean towards writings and works that trend toward "different," not an easy thing in the murky wilds of modern war tales. So, if I hurt feelings or forget/snub a particular book, I assure you all, it's unintentional. As my family can attest, I've always been a bit of a literary snob, but never a willful asshole. (Wait?! A writer that easily casts judgment on others, but comes across as hypersensitive with his own work? Say it ain't so!)

Anyhow...

My Unofficially Official GWOT Reading List:

1) Evan Wright's Generation Kill. It's popular in COIN, Defense, and literary circles to hate on this book, but I say, "Shenanigans!" It covered the invasion from a rock 'n roll perspective, and judging from those I've talked to who invaded/were invaded, it deserves such a take.

2) Tom Ricks's Fiasco and The Gamble. More definitive accounts of the Iraq War may follow, but they haven't come out yet, and probably won't for quite some time. Personal favorite memory of Fiasco: Lt. Colonel Larry chewing out a Troop Commander for reading it in Iraq, presumably because of its "negative" title. Personal favorite memory of The Gamble: reading it right after we returned from Iraq in March 2009, and it explaining a lot of the bigger picture. Lots of "oh shit!" moments for then-Captain G.

3) Exum's This Man's Army. Not only did this book pave the way for junior officer memoirs in our era, it proves that smartass, ironic writers can grow up and do bigger and better things for their country. Ex and his book give me hope that my writing and/or academic and/or life career didn't peak last April.

4) David Bellavia's House to House. The real fucking deal. Reading this book will make anyone who wasn't on the ground in Fallujah feel simultaneously grateful and inadequate.

5) Patrick Hennessy's The Junior Officers' Reading Club. Loaded with weird British quirkiness, but that's okay. Certain experiences and gripes are universal, and this book reminded me as I wrote Kaboom that war memoirs could be funny.

6) Colby Buzzell's My War. The best of the bunch, at least so far. As raw as the soldier's experience can be described. (In the interest of full disclosure, I consider Colby a friend as well, though we became drinking buddies long after I read his book and felt this way about his work. Real talk.)

7) Sebastian Junger's War. Here's my full review, over at the HuffPo. Junger accomplished what many thought impossible - bringing a war story home to a mainstream audience. Any American who cares should be thankful for such. This promises to make any and all definitive GWOT reading lists in the future.

8) Jim Frederick's Black Hearts. This book is not for the faint of heart (pun intended!). Simply put, it's depressing as hell. But it covers a story that needs to be told, and made the Iraq that my unit found in 2007 make a lot more sense. Also, it's journalism at its finest. Frederick's dogged research shines through.

9) Nick McDonell's The End of Major Combat Operations. McDonell arrived to Iraq just as my unit left, so I found this read especially interesting. It's a great blend of personal narrative and reporting, and comes from a different perspective than most of these other books, as this was his first major foray into something other than fiction. McDonell can write. And that's all that matters.

10) Paul Rieckhoff's Chasing Ghosts. Probably the best of any of the GWOT works that is, ehh, remotely "political." Anger is a wonderful tool to utilize when writing, and Rieckhoff harnesses it quite effectively. Much like Exum, it's fun to read this and see the future Rieckhoff (now head of the IAVA) develop.

Fuck. This list is totally sexist. I've heard good things about Kayla Williams's Love My Rifle More Than You, though I haven't read it yet. I'm also aware I left off some normal stalwarts on such lists. So it goes. Some were read and discarded, while some are on my bookshelf, waiting to be picked up. Further, I'm also aware that all of these are non-fiction works. Well ... yeah. Luke Larson's novel Senator's Son is pretty good, and I've heard decent things about David Zimmerman's The Sandbox, but by and large, it's unlikely a definitive fictional work will be written about the wars until after they're over. Just the way it works; don't believe me, check literary history. Memoirs and journalistic accounts come out constantly and consistently, during and after wars, while fictionalized accounts take more time. But they also make a deeper impact. So let's hurry up and end these damn wars, I got epics to read!

What do you all think? What does this list, and subsequently my bookshelf, lack? What does it get right? I value feedback, just as my fiancee (ever the school teacher) taught me to. (Except for Kaboom haters. Fuck those simpletons. Hi-O!)

Dos and Donts for Bloggers in the Machine

2010-07-19T21:03:00.004-04:00

In early 2008, as a young Army lieutenant deployed Iraq, I wrote a blog called Kaboom, an irreverent reference to roadside bombs. I usually ran my postings by my company commander before I posted, and for the most part, the reception I received from my soldiers and superiors was positive. Then, in June 2008, I posted a piece that portrayed my battalion commander in an unflattering light – or, more accurately, I used analogies and a stream-of-consciousness rant to depict him that way – and while soldiers found it hilarious, my superiors, uhh, didn’t. Kaboom the blog quickly went the way of the dodo, though all of this e-drama did eventually lead to Kaboom the book.

So, if you’re wondering why I feel qualified to offer up a sort of omniscient Dos/Don’ts list for government and military bloggers, that’s why. I’ve succeeded at it, failed at it, and done whatever it is that falls in between. Now, on to the main event!

Do – research your organization’s online security guidelines. Even though I got shut down and yelled at a bunch for my blogging blooper (alliteration points!), the only thing that saved me from the kind of trouble that requires paperwork was my strict adherence to operational security. In Iraq as an Army-man, that meant not using real names or going into mission details. If you’re a spook working for the CIA, or the world’s ugliest clown recently hired by the Border Patrol to scare away illegals, the rules might be different.

Don’t – think that your superiors are too busy to read your blog. I was burned out, pissed off, and days away from my mid-tour leave to Europe when I mocked Lieutenant Colonel Larry. And, thanks to a mix of earnestness and ignorance, I really didn’t think my posting would get back to him. It did. Trust me, as much time as you spend each day Googling yourself, bosses do it even more. It’s the reason their computers are angled so only they can see the screen. Well, that and porn.

Maybe – use a pseudonym. It’s totally up to you, and dependent upon the specifics of your job and your goals for the blog. Just don’t think a fake name will keep family, friends, and coworkers from figuring out who you are. They know you, your sense of humor, and your idiosyncrasies, and will see through any e-masquerade in an instant. It’ll probably help keep the random creepers at bay, though.

Don’t – riddle your blog with acronyms. The Man loves abbreviated wordplay. The rest of society, minus seventh grade girls, does not. LOL! And such.

Do – Write about your coworkers. This can prove difficult with the people you don’t like/aren’t good at their jobs, but everyone else will enjoy reading about themselves in digital print. And, if nothing else, it’ll give them another distraction while on the job. It’s government time, after all.

Do – tell it like it is. Every entity of the government and the military has figured out by now that social media offers a brave new platform for broadcasting the party line. So what can you offer the interwebz that the public relations gurus can’t? The answer to that is simple: authenticity. Avoid posting while angry or drunk (or both), and treading that line between keeping it real and not being fired won’t be as difficult as it seems.

Same Song, New Dance?

2010-07-14T11:13:00.005-04:00

Well, my old units 2-14 Cav, 1-27 Infantry, and the rest of the 2nd Brigade, 25th Infantry Division are back in the Suck, deployed to the Iraqistan. About half of the former Gravediggers and Gunslingers are still with these units, so, some 16 months after we redeployed, they're back at it. Unreal. For some, it's their second or third tour. For guys like Staff Sergeant Boondock, it's their fourth. (And I'm talking full-length Army tours here, not the minimized Marine or Air Force tours that should only get half-credit). Just remember ... men like that have given up their youth so we can be fat and vapid and all that jazz.

Here's hoping this deployment, and the new set of challenges it brings, proves to be both a successful and a final one for my boys. Cheers! I'll have a beer for you all, and drink down a Rip-It for me.

On a completely unrelated note, I'll be speaking tonight at WORD Bookstore, in Brooklyn. Joe Dougherty and Philippe Dume - Sergeant Prime and Specialist Haitian Sensation, respectively - will be joining the Q and A session. The shindig starts at 7:30PM, and we hope to see some of you there!

Transworld's Kaboom cover

2010-07-12T16:55:00.009-04:00

Next spring, the UK company Transworld will be publishing Kaboom. I'm stoked, obviously, and am looking forward to working with them as we prepare to share the book with our friends across the pond.

With Transworld's blessing, here's an early version of the cover we plan to use. I like it a lot. I liked Da Capo's cover a lot as well, but for different reasons; Da Capo's version captured the Suck and team elements of the Iraq experience. Jules Crittenden of The Boston Herald agrees, though he apparently doesn't like the book all that much now that he's cracked it, so don't send too much traffic his way. (He hasn't even gotten to the part where I vote for President Obama from Iraq. Judging by the tone of some of his political posts, The Herald may be short one editor after he reads that section).

Anyways, I believe the Transworld cover will prove equally well received. There's a distinct iconic flavor here that I hope the British people respond to, not to mention that fantastic EW quote that'll be sure to grace any and all Kaboom editions.

What does the vaunted and illustrious Interwebz think?

A Ground View of the Lebrocalypse

2010-07-10T12:40:00.016-04:00

Apologies for being incommunicado this past week. I was in Cleveland, where City Girl and I spent a wonderful week with family. I even managed to squeeze in a book event at Mac's Backs and a radio interview with Cleveland's NPR affiliate, 90.3 WCPN. But, perhaps most memorably (unfortunately), we were there for "The Decision" - Lebron James now infamous television special where he announced he was leaving the Cleveland Cavaliers for the Miami Heat.

I don't think I've ever watched a train wreck so large, and I hope to never do so again. A lot has been written about James and his handlers in the past few days, and I agree with most of it - specifically any article that includes the words "robotic," "narcissistic," and "buffoonery." Nonetheless, James will go on to win some titles in Miami (albeit as a Beta deferring to Dwayne Wade), because God knows what is fair and just never applies to professional sports. Meanwhile, the Cleveland fan base has suffered yet another brutal disappointment. The local boy Lebron brought a lot of hype and excitement to Cleveland, but never really came close to a championship. (Sorry LBJ apologists, getting swept by Demon Deacon Tim Duncan and the Spurs in 2007 does not qualify as close).

Watching "The Decision" in Cleveland reminded me of the scene in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom when the bad guy rips out a still-beating heart from a dude's chest - there's that brief moment of "hey! That's my heart!" before the consequence of such an action sunk in. From my vantage point, that's kind of what happened in Cleveland. People couldn't believe one of their own had just done that to them on national television, and there was a bit of momentary shock. Yeah, there were some burned jerseys and some battered effigies, but for the most part, people didn't really react. They stared glumly at one another for a minute or two, and then the bartenders all changed the television to the baseball game. Someone turned on the jukebox and people returned to their beers.

We drove by the giant Lebron James poster later that night, which is located right across from the Q, the Cavs' arena. A few patrol cars were parked in front of it, and the cops looked both bored and anxious. But I knew nothing serious would happen. Cleveland sports fans - of which I include myself, as a diehard Browns and Indians fan - don't really do angry anymore. It's more of a crippling depression, which doesn't lend itself well to the riot mentality the national media seemed to be salivating for . My cousin Danny summarized this approach best in the aftermath of Lebron's announcement. "Go Browns!" he shouted, earning some positive responses and echoes from tables across the establishment. And yeah, we know the Browns will suck next year. But at least they'll still be in Cleveland.

A few caveats:

1) I disagree with my more intellectually-inclined friends who smugly point out that Lebron doesn't matter nearly as much as General Mattis taking over CENTCOM. Yeah, no shit, fellas. Don't break anything going out on that limb. But Lebron was more than a basketball player - we're talking upwards of $250 million a year for a local economy that has been bleeding away since the 1950's. It matters in ways that transcend a child's game played by giant people.

2) Not to get too cerebral here, but Lebron's decision to hang out in South Beach with some buddies, and rely on the older Wade to carry the leadership burden, does kind of symbolize Generation Y's overall sucktitude. Two rings in Cleveland would mean far more in terms of legacy than five in Miami, but it would've been a far more difficult road. Why go out and look for a job that's beneath us when Mom's basement is still so enticing? (Does that make any sense, or did I Stretch Armstrong that? Nevermind, don't answer that.)

3) Michael Jordan is cackling in a poker castle somewhere. His status as the GOAT (greatest of all time) has never seemed or felt so secure.

4) I can't believe I may have to root for the Hipster Anti-Christ next year. Just shoot me now.

5) Hope persists, thanks to the Durantula!

Coney Island Madness

2010-07-05T16:58:00.009-04:00

I hope everyone enjoyed a relaxing and memorable Independence Day. City Girl and I trekked down to Coney Island for the day, in hopes of getting sunburns and riding the Cyclone roller coaster. (Both missions were accomplished). Then, while surrounded by 75,000 of humanity's finest specimens (a veteran's dream, I assure you) I watched Joey Chestnut defend his hot dog eating title by scarfing down 54 dogs in 10 minutes.

If that sounds vile, it's really nothing. Chestnut won the title last year with 68.

Anyways, the real news occurred immediately following Chestnut's victory. Kobayashi, Chestnut's main Major League Eating rival who sat out this year's event due to a contract dispute (don't ask), stormed the stage. City Girl swears she saw him throw a backpack or something, but no news outlet has yet confirmed such. Two NYPD officers quickly grabbed the little man and carried him away, allowing Chestnut to celebrate freely with a bottle of Pepto-Bismol. Our verbal exchange of the event follows, as witnessed from about 30 feet away, in direct vision of the center stage:

City Girl: "Some guy is getting arrested!"

Me: "Sure is."

City Girl: "Is that ... Kobayashi?"

Me: "Don't be racist. Just because he's small and Asian and crashing the hot dog eating competition means he has to be Kobayashi."

City Girl: "Think about what you just said."

Me: "Good point."

Probably not the most distinguished Fourth of July ever, but it might crack my top 5. Maybe. Meanwhile, Kobayashi, perhaps realizing he had blown a great shot at reclaiming his title, has been charged with resisting arrest, trespassing, and obstructing a governmental administration. When reached for comment in prison, he said simply "I wish there were hot dogs in jail."

In related news, some day, when historians are debating the exact moment America entered a post-empire decline, the rise of Major League Eating is as good a reference as any.

The Code of the Donkey

2010-07-02T10:13:00.006-04:00

Unlike my mother, who has exchanged letters with Tom Wolfe regarding the depth of female characters in his books, I've never been a huge fan of his work. But he totally makes up for all that, even the daddy apologist exercise that was I Am Charlotte Simmons, with this passage from The Bonfire of the Vanities:

Irish machismo - that was the dour madness that gripped them all. They called themselves Harps and Donkeys, the Irish did. Donkeys! They used the word themselves, in pride but also as an admission. They understood the word. Irish bravery was not the bravery of the lion but the bravery of the donkey ... That was what was scary about even the smallest and most insignificant of the breed. Once they took a position, they were ready to fight. To deal with them you had to be willing to fight also, and not that many people on this poor globe were willing to fight. The other side of it was loyalty ... Loyalty was loyalty, and Irish loyalty was a monolith, indivisible. The code of the Donkey! And every Jew, every Italian, every black, every Puerto Rican, internalized that code and became a stone Donkey himself. The Irish liked to entertain one another with Irish war stories, so that when Donkey Fitzgibbon and Donkey Goldberg listened to Donkey Martin, all they lacked was booze so they could complete the picture by getting drunk and sentimental or drunk and in a brutal rage. No, thought Kramer, they don't need alcohol. They're high on what tough, undeluded motherfuckers they are.

My people! Well said, Mr. Wolfe. But even beyond my ethnic biases, I really enjoyed The Bonfire of the Vanities. Definitely a magnum opus if I've ever read one, and by explaining 80s New York, I feel like I better understand modern New York as a result.

Go Go PowerPoint Rangers (Updated)

2010-06-30T13:07:00.011-04:00

Starbuck of Wings Over Iraq brought my attention to this: a PowerPoint presentation, presumably affiliated with the U.S. Army in some way, about online etiquette and operational security (OPSEC). And lo and behold, Kaboom is mentioned on slide three!

I'm more amused than bothered, for a few reasons:

1) The PowerPoint Rangers that put this together clearly don't realize what brought Kaboom down. It wasn't OPSEC - in fact, my strict adherence to OPSEC saved my ass and ensured a promotion to captain still occurred a month after the blog got shut down.

2) They insinuate that Kaboom violated UCMJ in some way. That may be true, but I know some JAG lawyers that would loudly, and vehemently, disagree. Methinks they know a little bit more than UCMJ than the PAO clowns who likely put this slide together.

3) Neither Osama or my Mama were bothered by Kaboom. The former, because he doesn't care about an American platoon leader mocking his superior in mid-2008; the latter, because even the sweet Scot-Presbyterian that she is has a bit of a pirate in her. So, I got that going for me. Which is nice. But hey, that slide is funny. Or something. Because it rhymes. Get it? I'm sure that quip brought the whole air-conditioned office down with laughter.

4) The screenshot of Kaboom they captured was of City Girl's short-lived rendition of Kaboom, which was mainly to keep readers up-to-date on the state of injured solider Hot Wheels. City Girl was and is a civilian. The clowns couldn't even be bothered to use Google Cache to find a screenshot of the right Kaboom site. Not only are they clowns, they're lazy clowns.

5) Points 1-4 remind me why PowerPoint is such a detrimental tool in the military. It simplifies complex scenarios and situations for the lowest common denominator, often by individuals who are simply regurgitating information themselves. It stifles research, analysis, and debate. Further, no author is cited for the slide, beyond the much vaunted U.S. Army emblem - it's simply passed through the ranks, shared over and over again, until someone recognizes just how dated and incorrect it is. In this case, expect such to occur sometime in 2022.

Now, as Starbuck points out in his comments section, the "save it for your memoirs" line is a cheap shot. And it's quite possible the person that typed that line could fit their deployment memoirs into a PowerPoint slide themselves. (Burn!) Spencer Ackerman (congrats on your move to the Danger Room, Spencer) calls it "classless." I'll admit to being a little ... annoyed. But the truth is, like all PowerPoint slides, no one will spend more than 30 seconds on this, because all too often, PowerPoint is there to check the block, not to learn.

(Well, us milblog Internet nerds will spend some time on it. But that's about it.)

If any PowerPoint Rangers (or otherwise) actually want to use the rise, fall, and resurrection of Kaboom as a teaching tool for young soldiers, email me at kaboomwarjournal@gmail.com. I'd be happy to provide some real teaching points, in whatever format you want. Even PowerPoint.

Update: A new thought regarding PowerPoint Rangers and Kaboom. It's free advertising. Keep up the libel, clowns, Daddy's got tuition bills to pay!

What Hastings got wrong in Rolling Stan

2010-06-28T14:28:00.002-04:00

Like many Americans, I’ve spent the last few days observing the fallout from General Stanley McChrystal’s Rolling Stone profile with a mix of fascination and perplexity. Facetiously nicknamed “Rolling Stan” and “McClusterfuck” on the Internet, this public relations nightmare blends all the melodrama of reality television with the actual realities of war. Uncouth commentary about superiors? Check. Drunken aides dancing at an Irish pub in Paris? Check. Direct access to the most powerful fighting man in our military? Check. A significant impact on the war effort in Afghanistan? Not quite. There’s no doubt Michael Hastings’ article will go down in the annals of journalistic star-makers, as it effectively ended General McChrystal’s career. However, it seemed clear when reading the article that Hastings also wanted to deride the current counterinsurgency strategy undertaken by military leaders in Afghanistan. President Obama stressed a shift in approach won’t occur when naming General David Petraeus McChrystal’s successor. Nor should it. For all the unsettling, flashy quotes Hastings’ article contained, his cursory analysis and dismissive tone of counterinsurgency (COIN) as a whole diluted an otherwise fascinating profile piece, and offered no feasible alternatives. COIN is never a good option, as Hastings points out – but sometimes, it’s the best option.

Counterinsurgency is a trendy term amongst Defense circles now, but such wasn’t always the case. Back in 2006, before General Petraeus took over command in Iraq, it was actually something of a revolutionary concept at the Pentagon. David Kilcullen, a noted counterinsurgency expert and current U.S. military consultant, describes this era as “a time when misguided leaders banned even the word ‘insurgency,’ though busily losing to one” in the inscription of his new book, Counterinsurgency. While Hastings attempts to portray COIN as a fringe strategy unleashed by a “runaway general,” historical paradigms are in abundance for the approach. The recent tactical (if not strategic) success of Iraq stands out, as do the British “victories” in Malaya and Northern Ireland. (One thing about COIN that the general public still has a hard time grasping: victory isn’t defined by winning, it’s defined by not losing. Don’t like it? Ensure that our political leaders don’t get the military involved in messy, guerilla land wars.) Hastings claims advocates of COIN operate with “a cultish zeal” and writes that “the theory essentially rebrands the military” as some kind of cross between the Green Berets and the Peace Corps. While those quotes certainly pack some pizzazz, they don’t speak to the success or failures of COIN, which is the purpose of military strategy, after all. It’s important that readers of the article understand that Generals Petraeus and McChrystal and their COIN disciples didn’t invent the wheel so much as they updated it for a modern world.

Hastings then trots out quotes from active duty soldiers in Afghanistan who complain about the restraints of COIN, and he infers that the war would go more smoothly if the rules of engagement for these soldiers were eased. Again, don’t hate the player, hate the game – General McChrystal had plenty of reasons, both historical and current, for his obsession with minimizing civilian casualties. France’s epic 1950’s failure in Algeria stands out most prominently in this regard, and we had seven years of cowboy tactics in Afghanistan with very limited success, where we pursued more of a counter-guerilla technique instead of the population-centric COIN now in place. Further, finding a soldier who isn’t angry and complaining in a war zone is about as rare as finding a journalist without an agenda. Combat soldiers will do their duty, and they’ll do it well, but they’re rarely happy about it. My scout platoon and I often complained about the rules of engagement in Iraq during the Surge, but once we got some perspective and time away from the perils of the moment, we better understood the whys of it all. Soldiers are trained to kill, and sometimes will do so even in a COIN environment, but that doesn’t mean they always should. It’s not an ideal solution, and leaves a lot of room for confusion and error, but ambiguity pervades every level of guerilla war, from the tactical to the operational to the strategic.

Vague references to a counter-terror strategy pepper the Rolling Stone article, usually advocated by Vice-President Biden. Again, Hastings does the reader a disservice by suggesting that COIN and counter-terror are mutually exclusive approaches. Anyone who doesn’t think we’re conducting counter-terror in Afghanistan right now, and a few other nations across the globe, is fooling themselves. It’s likely that no one understands this better than General McChrystal, given his background in Special Forces’ black operations. Saying someone is “pro counter-terror” is akin to stating someone is pro-education. That’s swell and all, but who’s going to disagree? There’s a matter of degrees and numbers application, with regards to counter-terror, that Hastings avoids in his piece.

Hastings’ article was provocative, enthralling, and, apparently, accurate. But he overreached with his equating of General McChrystal and counterinsurgency. The article in question won’t change the trajectory of the war, though it has changed the career trajectory of one general and his staff. When President Obama said this was a change in command, and not in strategy, he meant it – General Petraeus literally wrote the COIN manual, and his leadership and planning will certainly resemble, if not mimic, what occurred in Iraq from 2007-08. If there’s a place counterinsurgency can’t and won’t work, it’s Afghanistan; it’s not known as “the graveyard of empires” without reason. It’s definitely not a good option. But, nine years after an invasion without an exit plan, it’s the best one, as we creep towards the July 2011 withdrawal date.

The Pritzker and RISK!

2010-06-25T13:09:00.006-04:00

Been a whirlwind couple of days for the artist formerly known as LT G. Went from DC, to New York, to Chicago, back to New York, and I'm off to North Carolina later today for a wedding. Insert something punny here, I'm too jet-lagged to think of a good one.

Anyways, while in Chicago, I spoke at the Pritzker Military Library, which was both an honor and a privilege. The Pritzker people couldn't have been nicer, and I saw just enough of Chi Town to know that I need to see more. I even got picked up at the airport in a black Escalade - I guess this now makes me the Kanye West of miblogging.

Despite storms wreaking havoc on Chicago's air travel, Nancy at the Pritzker was able to get me to New York in time for something completely different - a live show called RISK!, run by Kevin Allison, of the famed comedy show The State. Of the five speakers, I was the only dude and the only non-comedian, but people were nice enough to laugh at some of the funny parts of Kaboom, anyways. It was a really cool experience, and hope to do more things like it in the future. Like Method Man recommends, "diversify that portfolio, jigga!"

Enjoy your weekend, interwebz.

Like a Rolling Stone

2010-06-22T05:38:00.003-04:00

I'm off to Chicago today for this event at the Pritzker Military Library, but of course the hot issue of the day is General McChrystal's interview with Rolling Stone. Now, I haven't read the whole article yet, but considering General McChrystal has already apologized for its content, the fears of an unnecessary distraction - and the pending fallout - seem valid.

While the public and DC is mostly going to focus on the political nature of McChrystal's/aides' comments, and use them accordingly depending upon their own agenda, the strategic implications for Afghanistan will unfortunately be put on the backburner. (What evidence do I have for this? Just nine years of the American public largely ignoring the war, and politicians' reactionary diatribes. That's all.) A central tenet of any military organization is unity of command, and this reads like the exact opposite of that. It was no secret that McChrystal and Eikenberry weren't buddies, but this is something else altogether. Everyone, from the POTUS to Biden to the Muppet Babies, get trotted in.

We're fighting in a land Alexander the Great described as the graveyard of empires, trying to defy all historical precedence on an accelerated timeline. Any distraction - let alone something like this - is going to be legitimately magnified. I don't know if it'll cost McChrystal his job - though it may very well do just that - but I do think this makes that July 2011 pullout date more concrete. And more importantly, it has made the job for the soldiers and Marines on the ground even more difficult, while calling into question the clarity of mission passed down to them. Tough day for the war effort.

Kobe Bryant - the Hipster Anti-Christ?

2010-06-18T13:46:00.005-04:00

First, an apology. This is a second straight hipster-related blog post. Too much time in Brooklyn for this cracka', clearly.

Second, a disclaimer. As a Sacramento Kings fan, I loathe the Lakers, and enjoy loathing them. And a day after the Lakers won the title (sigh), I'm taking solace in the damage Kobe did to his legacy in the process (6 for 24! Jordan would never do that in a Game 7, as MJ's son pointed out on Twitter) and watching the mania that was Ron Artest's press conference. So yeah, haters gonna hate and all that jazz. That doesn't make this wrong, though, so keep that in mind if the bandwagoner in you wants to type "LAKERS #1!!!!"

So. Hipsters and Kobe. At first glance, they don't have much in common, other than a bizarre fashion sense. There's also that grating sense of entitlement, but even that's just perception. The real link between the new Millennium's counterculture staple and the NBA's most divisive player is the word "contrived." And I'm not talking about personality.

According to this ESPN article, Kobe spends a lot of time studying film of former great ballers and then mimics their moves. I think that's swell, and a testament to Kobe's devotion to the game. But it got me thinking ... is there anything Kobe does that we haven't already seen? His dream shake? Stolen from Hakeem. His scoop shot? Dr. J's invention. And his whole image, from the day he entered the league at 17, has come across as a structured replica of Michael Jordan's, all the way down to the relentless tongue-wagging. (You make millions of dollars, dude. Buy some chap stick.) Many could (and should) argue that Kobe perfected what other players only began. Fair enough. But where's the originality? The genius of creation? It's just not there, in either Kobe's game or his (public) projection of himself to the greater world. Artest may be batshit crazy, but it's a genuine kind of batshit crazy.

Kobe entered the NBA in 1996, roughly around the same time hipster culture started building their Mecca in the Williamsburg neighborhood of Brooklyn. Ever since then, there's been a constant need in societal circles to define just what "hipsterdom" is; in my estimation, this Adbusters article comes the closest, describing it as "an amalgamation of its own history." The short version of the article is that hipsters have simply copied the style and trends of earlier counterculture movements (the punks, the Beats, etc.) without incorporating the soul and substance of these movements. An egregious lack of originality - just like one Kobe Bean Bryant.

The Adbusters article gets pretty esoteric, eventually reaching the conclusion that the rise of hipsters "represents the end of Western civilization – a culture so detached and disconnected that it has stopped giving birth to anything new." A little melodramatic, to be certain, but what if the author is right? And what better way for these skinny-jeaned devils to usher in a cultural Armageddon than to plant one of their own in the NBA, where he can brainwash a new generation into nicknaming themselves after snakes and mugging the underbite? Would this not make Kobe the hipster anti-Christ? I'm willing to connect that dot if no one else will.

So, here we are. Indubitably, Kobe Bryant is the hipster anti-Christ. Help us Chris Childs, you're our only hope.

The Day I met the Perseus Books CEO dressed like a Hipster

2010-06-16T21:04:00.004-04:00

About three months ago, as the Kaboom launch date neared, the stellar marketing team at Da Capo and Perseus (Da Capo is an imprint of Perseus) asked if I'd be cool doing a podcast for the book's website. I thought it was a great idea, but there was one catch - I couldn't do it on a cellphone. Clarity and garble and all that. Like every other Millennial/Gen whYer I know, I don't utilize a landline - what other communication tool does one need, beyond a cell and Facebook? Usually, for radio interviews and such, I use my agent's landline, but he was out of town for the week. The solution - head to Perseus Books headquarters, located in lower Manhattan, and conduct the podcast interview there.

Now, perhaps this was shortsighted of me, but I thought this was going to be an in-and-out deal. I had a contact there, whose office I'd conduct the telephonic interview in, and that'd be that. I already had Happy Hour plans, post-interview. Comfort took precedence over style, in terms of dress. So I threw on a plaid shirt and a pair of blue jeans and called it a day.

Now, I'm definitely not a hipster. (Even real hipsters say that, I know. My defense? I detest V-neck shirts and don't rattle off a pretentious list of nobody bands when asked what music I listen to. I also don't wear scarves, in either the winter or summer. So there.) But I will admit to appearing slightly hipsterish on this day - the jeans I wore were on the skinny side (a Christmas present!) and a plaid shirt is either pragmatic or ironic, depending on the wearer. But I gave it no mind at the time, because as City Girl and my family will attest, I don't give a damn about clothes.

So, I walk into the Perseus building and get buzzed up to their floor. It's all very chic and modern-looking, and I'm suitably impressed. Definitely not in Brooklyn, anymore. Peter, my contact and all-around awesome guy, ushers me in and shows me around the place. A large placard of Kaboom's cover - it probably weighed 80 or so pounds - is on one of the walls. I ask, only partly-kidding, if I can get it when they're done with it. People laugh, but there's no answer, so I presume it's a negatory. Peter shows me to his office, tells me he'll be in the conference room, and then off-handedly informs me that the CEO of Perseus, David Steinberger, would like to meet me after I'm done with the podcast.

Through my parents and friends' parents, I've spent enough time in corporate offices to know that you don't meet the CEO of a company dressed like a hipster, even if you do qualify as a creative type. I also had my now normal four-day patchy beard/pirate look going. But, short of stealing an outfit and a razor, I had no choice. So, I conduct the podcast, find Peter, and am escorted into Mr. Steinberger's office.

He couldn't be nicer. His coffee table sports a brand new copy of Kaboom, which either means he genuinely enjoyed it, or his secretary is efficient as hell. I'm cool with either, actually - efficient secretaries mean efficient companies. We talk for a few minutes, and when he finds out about my grad school plans, he gives me a copy of an Arab history book from his bookshelf. That's that, and off to Happy Hour I go.

Surreal moment, to be certain. Would've been easier on a casual Friday or something, but still, a positive experience.

Summer in the City

2010-06-16T09:31:00.003-04:00

Though one wouldn't know it from today (rain, drizzle, all around dreary), it's officially summer time in NYC. Temperatures have already hit the 90s, with a mugginess I've found surprising. All the containment, concrete, and smog of a city certainly doesn't help matters.

But I'm not sweating off the pounds like I was two years ago. (Has it really been that long?) Bars of soap don't melt here. I'm not taking shots of chai to cool down. And I'm not walking around with half my weight in body armor.

Perspective.

Neptunus Lex review

2010-06-14T18:51:00.002-04:00

Good reviews of Kaboom always feel swell, but I think it means more to me coming from those in the veteran and/or milblogging community. This is likely because they've been there with me from the beginning, back when I was shocked to find a comment from someone who wasn't a friend or family member. So, glad to hear you enjoyed the book, Lex, and I may very likely steal the Guinness donation button on the side of your page.

Franklin Park reading series

2010-06-13T20:11:00.003-04:00

Brooklynites, unite! As part of a great group of writers, I'll be reading tomorrow (Monday) at the Franklin Park reading series, in Crown Heights. Join us for a brew or two if you can. Festivities officially kick off at 8pm.

Linky

Pissing on the Third Rail

2010-06-11T16:26:00.002-04:00

According to New York City subway lore, the third rail contains the electricity charge that power the cars. And, after eight or so months of living here, I've had friends and acquittances share stories - always third- and fourth-hand, of course - of drunk bums pissing into the tunnel, while waiting for the subway. The bums' urine streams, these stories go, eventually strike the aforementioned third rail, and the world's most painful electric shock follows.

Now, I have no idea if the urban legend of death through penis electrocution is scientifically possible or not, but I've never felt inclined to prove or disprove it definitively. (One of the side benefits of going to war - you lose that young man's compulsion for trying stupid stuff just for the hell of it). But today around noon, while waiting for the A Train, I noticed a middle-aged derelict pissing into the tunnel and onto the rails.

I wasn't the only one. As I walked over to the guy, an older woman started imploring him to stop from across the way. I managed to spit out a "dude, please stop doing that." Two young "hoods," for the lack of a more descriptive term, came up from the man's other side and told him to stop. "Why?" asked the bum. "Because your dick will get blasted, bro," responded one of the young men.

This proved logical enough advice for the urinator, who stopped, mid-stream, and then finished the job in the corner by a trash can. The old lady, two hoods, and I shared a smile though, and continued about our days. In an odd sort of way, I think we all felt like we had just participated in a form of humanitarian aid. Whether possible or not, the very thought of dying like that sends shivers down the spine, and this guy certainly did not deserve such a fate.

And people say New Yorkers are selfish.

TNR reviews Kaboom and KABOOMKLYN

2010-06-11T14:26:00.004-04:00

Just when I thought all the book chaos was winding down, and I could go back to chillin' like a villain, The New Republic comes out with this excellent review of Kaboom.

Also, mad props to Josh Landon for putting together a very successful KABOOMKLYN dinner party last night, good times with good people. And yes, the rumors are true - props are best when angry.

Perma Soldier Skillz

2010-06-10T13:28:00.003-04:00

No sleep till (guitar riff) ... Brooklyn!

A couple months ago, I got off the subway in a not-so-nice part of Brooklyn, and gunshots rang out from down the street. Gang violence, I later learned, but I didn’t know that at the time. I rather calmly sought cover, and took a knee behind a parked car. Mentally, I estimated both the distance and direction of the shots and determined them to be handguns of some sort. Then I grew frustrated that my old radioman in Iraq, Private First Class Das Boot, wasn’t right there to relay my contact report to headquarters. Meanwhile, most of the people around me ran around, pointlessly flailing their arms and screaming, looking for neither cover nor concealment.

As the shots ended, I quickly regained my bearings, remembered I didn’t need to send up contact reports in New York, and chuckled at myself. I rose up from my crouched position to find a middle-aged man in the street staring at me like I was mad, probably because I had been looking around only seconds earlier for PFC Das Boot. Momentarily embarrassed, I shuffled off and joined the throngs of people on the sidewalk, now returning to their days. But upon further reflection, the question must be asked: with gunfire occurring maybe a block away, why is the person finding and taking cover the crazy person, rather than the guy frozen like a statue in the middle of the street?

Predictably, the paperwork for my Combat Action Badge- Brooklyn campaign got lost by those admin fucks.

Small Wars Journal Fundraiser

2010-06-10T10:57:00.002-04:00

The Small Wars Journal, the online den of the military intellectual crowd, is currently holding a fundraiser. Donate here, if you can.

From the Department of It's About Damn Time...

2010-06-09T11:54:00.003-04:00

Kaboom is now available for the Nook.

Kindle - check.

Nook - check.

iPad - working on it. Pouring more coal into Steve Jobs as I type this.

Iraq/Afghanistan fatigue in the book industry

2010-06-08T11:57:00.015-04:00

About once a week, I receive an email from an enterprising writer looking to publish his (or her) war tales from Iraq or Afghanistan, seeking advice on how to accomplish such a goal. Of those that share some selections, most really are excellent - after nine or so years, a lot of insanity has ensued that needs to be shared with the larger world.

The problem though, is the marketplace is "fatigued with Iraq and Afghanistan stories." (I could attribute this quote to about ten different people in the publishing or literary industry). And for everyone not named Sebastian Junger (whose book, WAR, I loved) it can be a struggle to get the right people to read their manuscript, let alone purchase it.

The obvious question is - why is the marketplace fatigued? It's certainly an indictment on American society in general, but that's nothing new. In times of economic turmoil, people don't tend to like being reminded that others are suffering far more than they are. They want to laugh and be distracted. Hence the success of fratire slop like Tucker Max and Sh*t my Dad Says.

Where does that leave the warrior-poet, then? I wish I had a definitive answer. A huge reason why Kaboom got published is because of "The Washington Post" article, I know that. It was up to me from there to weave a quality narrative - something I'd argue I accomplished, given Kaboom's sustained success since publication. (Au contraire, says a couple dissenting Amazon reviewers!) But I'm not about to recommend to other writers in the military that they should give their command the proverbial middle finger. (Well. Unless said command really, really deserves it and no operational security is violated in the process.) In lieu of that, here is some advice that I can effectively offer, though I'm certainly no expert on the whims and desires of the book world.

1) Make it different - If this is vague and evasive, it's purposeful. If an outline to "different" existed, it wouldn't be different anymore. Colby Buzzell achieved great success with My War because it was the first Iraq book written from a grunt's perspective. Dr. Dave Hnida's Paradise General comes from the perspective of an Army surgeon. These stick out from the "typical" - and I use that term hesitantly, because there is nothing typical about going to war, especially in modern America - story of soldier goes to combat, fucked up things happen, soldier goes home.

2) Find the right agent - This may take a lot of groundwork on the writer's part. The right agent can make all the difference for a project - if he or she believes in its potential (and salability, which yes, is in fact a word) they can make things happen writers' pea-sized brains can't comprehend. There are a lot of agents out there though, and it's vital to remember that if a few aren't interested, that doesn't mean the next one won't be. Agents rejected Karl Marlantes' Matterhorn for thirty-plus years, for Allah's sake, so they aren't infallible. (Except for mine. Hi, William!)

3) Wait - and perfect - It took Marlantes thirty-plus years to pen his recently-released-but-already-classic Vietnam novel. Joseph Heller labored on Catch-22 for about fifteen years. And just because the current marketplace is oversaturated with Iraq and Afghanistan war stories (be them fiction or non-fiction), it won't always be. At some point, that American pup known as capitalism will wake up and be ravenous for all things GWOT.

Keep the faith, my people! Good things come to those who wait, and such. If it's good enough, it'll happen. In the mean time, in times of tribulation, watch Eminem's "Lose Yourself" video. It'll pick you up. Rapping to yourself in front of the mirror, optional.

Re: the Wikileaks Kid

2010-06-07T14:07:00.006-04:00

Wired has an excellent rundown on the recent arrest of the Apache video (amongst others) leaker, Specialist Bradley Manning. Outed by a hacker of all people.

Admittedly, I'm torn on this. My initial reaction is to tear this kid a new one, because security violations of this type cannot happen. (Though, of course, they will in this digital era). But ... though obviously bright, it sounds like he's not right in the head and been ostracized in a way that can cripple the psyche of a young man. He's also only 22. What 22-year old kid isn't a bit self-possessed and guilty of viewing the world in black-white, right-wrong telescopes? It certainly sounds like from his viewpoint, he felt like he was doing the right thing. Was that viewpoint totally screwed up and asinine? Sure, but from what I've read thus far, I don't believe he realized the possible far-reaching effects of his actions, and that is a crucial differentiation - if not for the military, at least in the court of public opinion.

Don't get me wrong, Manning is a fool and deserves to get punished. (Which, uhh, he will be, indubitably). But where were his NCOs and platoon leader? I know intel geeks structure their units differently, but leadership at that level requires and demands direct oversight. That's why they're there - to provide guidance and mentorship in times of need.

Further, I find the real villain in all this to be the sanctimonious Julian Assange, Wikileaks' director. (Yes, that Australian dude that looks like a lesbian from Seattle). Wikileaks uses people like Manning, purportedly to make the world a more transparent place. But as we witnessed with the Collateral Murder video debacle, it's more than obvious that Wikileaks wishes to use leaked information like this the same way governments are accused of using information - as propaganda.

Orwell often wrote that "all art is propaganda." And if you're willing to make a logic jump that edited, digital videos can qualify as a form of art in this crazy modern era, it seems self-evident that Assange and Wikileaks are no better than the governments they criticize. They use people, like Manning. But it'll be Manning, and Manning alone, who faces the consequences of his actions. To wit, I somehow doubt that Assange will be sharing a cell with Manning at Leavenworth.

Sure, this story has new faces and new twists. But it's the most classic story in the world. Old men using young men for their own ends. Nothing new. Nothing new at all.

Loony Tunes

2010-06-06T12:56:00.008-04:00

There's always one.

It seems at every book event that discusses Iraq or Afghanistan, be it mine or someone else's, there's always one individual who turns the question and answer session into their very own pulpit. Sometimes, they're crazy professors who think that my pro-bacon stance in Kaboom is somehow anti-Islam; others are old hippies still angry about the 2003 invasion/Vietnam/life. No matter the type though, they all try to bait the author into saying something sweeping in nature and inflammatory.

My latest dalliance with the bookstore fringe occurred at Politics & Prose in DC, with a Loony Tune of the aging hippie variety. (And BookTV got it all!) Despite the fact that I had already definitively stated I was anti-invasion in 2003, but in 2010, not anti-war, because you know, things change, the aging hippie wanted a less complex answer. He began by buttering me up for a minute or two (always a warning sign), and then launched into a rambling mess of "I thinks."

People in the audience started getting restless, and the bookstore manager, having seen this before, said "that's enough, sir!" Aging hippie - described by Gulliver of Ink Spots as a member of the "old-hippies with straw-hats-shorts-and-sneakers-with-white-socks brigade" - disagreed. I responded to his "question" with an attempt at reconciliation, pointing out that history will do plenty of judging, but here in 2010, we're better off focusing on action and solutions. Not being a counterinsurgency expert myself, I pointed him in the direction of those that are. "There's a broader context!" aging hippie shouted in defiance, as he walked out of the bookstore in a huff. Uncomfortable silence followed.

Now, I know I give off a bit of a devil-may-care slacker vibe. And rather than shouting down aging hippie Fox News-style, I just shrugged my shoulders and laughed him off. But maybe I should've gone all blowhard on him. Because yeah dude, there's a broader context. I know this better than most. But I had already offered my macro analysis, despite the obvious fact that the point of my book (and hence, the event in question) is an exercise in the micro.

As I asked Lieutenant Colonel Larry many blog posts ago, while still in Iraq, "I roll out of the wire everyday to bask in a Third-World cesspool craving my attention for nothing more than the most basic human need - hope. Is there a bigger picture that, or just different vantage points from safer distances?"

That's broad enough, methinks.

I Hate to Love Blogging (and Love to Hate it) (and such)

2010-06-03T13:02:00.006-04:00

The love-hate relationship with blogging is nothing new to modern writers, but I've (finally) hit that point in my development. I mean, Christ, I owe my entire writing career (whatever that means) to blogging and the benefits of reaching a mass audience instantaneously. Write quick, descriptive pieces, then move on to the next one when something happens worth telling. And that style worked for Kaboom, even in book form, because war is nothing else but a collection of insane episodes that shouldn't - and don't - fit together. Don't trust a combat memoir that flows too smoothly - fa rizzle.

But as I've taken up the keyboard again, I've been trying to blog and simultaneously develop my writing in more traditional forms. The Great American Novel, yo. And it's killing brain cells. Some days, blogging seems like a chore and I can't stop weaving the narrative for a book certainly destined to be better than anything Fitzgerald and Salinger put together. (Facetious liar alert) Other days, it's the exact opposite.

I think this is my version of the Artist's Reward, delayed as it may be. I never doubted that Kaboom is/was damn good. It has its weaknesses, certainly, but it has some mad cajones. Can I write another one? Something grander in scope, better in form, sharper in focus? Fuck, I don't know. I hope so, for sure.

Damn you blog, for taking away precious words from the magnum opus I'm supposed to be writing. And damn you, worthless manuscript, for taking away precious words from the blog that is instrumental in spreading the word about the book that actually got published.

I'm on the train to DC right now, and yes, I had too much Coke (the cola, not the Bolivian marching powder.) Ping ping ping!

Politics & Prose, Washington DC

2010-06-02T10:50:00.002-04:00

DC peeps - I'll be speaking at Politics & Prose tomorrow (Thursday), at 7pm. I promise to ramble in person the same way I do in Kaboom. Also, rumor has it that CSPAN's BookTV may be there as well. Thismuchcloserto fulfilling my lifelong dream of acting a fool in British Parliament!

A Day on the Brooklyn Bridge

2010-06-01T14:10:00.002-04:00

If there's a better way to spend Memorial Day than walking the Brooklyn Bridge with the illustrious City Girl, I'm not allowed to vocalize it. We started on the Brooklyn side, and thus walked straight into picturesque view after picturesque view of lower Manhattan. We got our sun on, then our grub on, and then (finally!) our beer on.

Idyllic in a place that supposedly doesn't allow for it.

I thought about old comrades, especially those that fell, or have since gotten lost. Remember and honor, like Reagan talked about, because it's all we can do. It's not enough of course, but it's never enough.

I hope everyone had an equally peaceful and relaxing Memorial Day weekend.

Catching up with ... Hot Wheels

2010-05-30T14:11:00.007-04:00

I hope everyone is enjoying a peaceful and relaxing Memorial Day weekend. And tomorrow ... I just hope we all remember and honor.

One of the soldiers I'll be thinking of is Corporal Matt Wheeler - known as Hot Wheels in the Kaboom universe - a Gravedigger critically injured in a 2008 fire during our deployment to Iraq. Still at the Brooke Army Medical Center (BAMC) in San Antonio, Texas, where he's preparing to receive his honorable discharge, Wheels was kind enough to answer some questions for the interwebz.

The last many readers heard from you, was June 2008, after you got hurt. Walk us through your recovery process since then - where have you been, who have you worked with, and how has the experience gone for you?

Well, I've been at Brooke Army Medical Center in San Antonio since then. I mainly worked with physical and occupational therapists that specialize in burn rehabilition. In the beginning, I would also see the burn clinic for routine check ups on my burns. The beginning was hard, since everything you did caused you pain. It would be frustating because you often wouldn't see results immediately. Learning to walk again was probably the hardest, each day you just try for one more step then you did the day before. But you drive on and continue the mission and now I'm back up to running 2 miles.

That's fantastic news. When I visited you in San Antonio this past summer, you mentioned how humbling it was to be at BAMC, because of some of the other soldiers you've met. Could you explain in more detail what you meant by that?

Being at BAMC is a truly humbling place. Everywhere you turn there is an injured soldier, some with similar injuries, some with worse. You see people who are terrifyingly maimed and disfigured, but when you talk with them, all you hear is how thankful they are for everything they still have.

What do you miss the most from Iraq? And what do you miss the least from Iraq?

As bad as Iraq sucked, everything over there was a lot ... simpler then it is here. You put on your boots, picked up your weapon and did your job. Thats it, there's no worrying about whose going to pick up the kids, what are we going to do for dinner, or anything like that. You just did what you where told and drove on... simple. What i miss the least, well that's easy. The port o crappers and the millions of flies that came along with them.

Hah. Good call, it's easy to forget just how disgusting those things were. On a much more civilized note, your mother's CaringBridge website, where she updated people on your road to recovery, proved very inspirational for many people. How'd you feel about that outpouring of support from family, friends, and complete strangers?

The support that my family and I recieved with my mother's CaringBridge website was truly outstanding. I know my mother having that outlet was definitely a blessing.

What's next for Matt Wheeler?

It has been a long recovery, but I'm finished with all surgeries and therapy. I should be out of the Army in mid-June. I recently recieved my acceptance letter to Mississippi State University where i am planning to major in agribusiness. I'm really just looking forward to getting on with life!

I know I couldn't be happier for Matt, and his resolve and dedication to duty remains an inspiration to all of his brothers-in-arms. (Even if he was an infantryman surrounded by Cavalry scouts). Give those books, brews, and broads hell next year, bud! And not always in that order.

Mama said knock you out

2010-05-27T22:48:00.004-04:00

Check out this video of my buddy Ryan in a MMA (mixed martial arts) fight. (He's in the blue and white shorts, and yeah, he wins). Ryan and I served in Iraq together, during my Wolfhound days, and I take full credit for his successes. After all, the couple times he talked me into "rolling on the mat" with him, I let him dominate in order to build his self-confidence. That was really swell of me, don't you think?

Good and Evil

2010-05-26T23:36:00.005-04:00

I interviewed a young Marine corporal yesterday, recently back from Afghanistan, for a magazine article I'm putting together. Over the course of our discussion, he brought up an experience of his that defies human comprehension, even in the context of war.

"We were on a dismounted patrol in Marja ... and walked up on a box in the middle of the street. The IEDs we found were never that obviously placed, but we called EOD (explosive ordnance disposal), just to be on the safe side ... long story short, they came out, checked the box out, and then called us [on-the-ground leaders] up ... the box was empty except for a dead baby. It must've suffocated in there, or starved ... we later found out (through intelligence reports) that The Taliban did it for two reasons: One, it was the kid of a local that had turned some of them in. Two, they just wanted to fuck with us, like they were showing they were capable of anything."

These are ambiguous times we live in. Ambiguous wars, ambiguous purpose, ambiguous intent. In Iraq, sometimes I tried to humanize the enemy, and sometimes I didn't. It all depended on ... well, everything.

But pure evil exists. This wasn't an ambiguous act that occurred in Marja. A murdered innocent, not yet even self-aware. Pure evil in its most obvious and egregious form.

Sometimes, I think pure good must exist, if only to combat the pure evil of the world. Pure evil like this.

Sometimes, I think differently. Sometimes I think that good, at its best, can only aim to be ambiguous, if only because of the eternal flaw of humanity, original sin. And what kind of match is ambiguous good for pure evil?

And sometimes, most times really, I just don't know.

I just don't fucking know.

My Coach K story

2010-05-24T16:27:00.016-04:00

Some of this blog's fine readers sent emails yesterday, asking me to elaborate on the Coach K story I referenced on the Twitter machine. Ask and you shall receive. I recognize I'm going to catch some heat for this though, as Coach Krzyzewski is practically a saint in Army circles, due to his West Point background. What follows is not a story that'll likely be a part of his camo sainthood induction.

Background info: In the fall of 2001, as a freshman at Wake Forest University, I worked as a staff writer for the sports section of the student newspaper, The Old Gold & Black. Along with the sports editor and assistant sports editor, I went to the annual ACC (Atlantic Coast Conference) basketball media day, held in nearby Greensboro, North Carolina. Each team in the conference sends their head coach and two or three players to the event, and interviews are conducted en masse, meaning we needed to split up to get as many quotes as possible. I ended up with Georgia Tech, some other team I can't remember, and Duke, who was coming off of a national championship and returning star players Jason (now Jay) Williams and Mike Dunlaevy, Jr. Clearly, to an eighteen-year old kid obsessed with college basketball, this was a big freakin' deal.

Background info, Part Deux: I didn't like Duke in the fall of 2001, but I didn't quite hate them to the extent of which I do now. And unlike many Wake students who hate Duke, I never wanted to go there. Why, you ask? For the same reason I don't cheer for Boston, New York, or Los Angeles teams. I'm not an imperialist.

Scaling Mount Tension: We arrived at the conference, ate brunch, and listened to old white people speak. I also sized up Mark Price (a Georgia Tech grad who was there for reasons unknown) and realized he's shorter than me. I found this quite depressing, because while he still made it to the NBA, I couldn't even make my high school basketball team. I cursed the gods, and ate a lot of bacon. Then, the interviews started, and a mad dash ensued to various tables. I spied the Duke placard in the center of the room, headed that way, and used my bony frame to slide up to the front. Who do I find sitting down, two people to my left and five feet away? None other than Coach K.

The Main Event: Long-time readers of Kaboom may find this hard to believe, but I was a bit ... cheeky in my youth. So, yeah, I wanted to ask Coach K a question just for the sake of asking him a question. Fully aware of my nobody status, as student writers were greatly outnumbered by actual media at this conference, I knew my window of opportunity was going to be small.

Luckily however, an awkward pause settled in, as Coach K awaited questions. No one wanted to be the guy (and yes, it was all men) to break open the floodgates. Cue foolish question from foolish student writer: "Coach, with your team coming off a national championship, do you all feel any pressure to repeat?"

Coach K turned his head and stared at me like I had a dick growing out of my forehead for a full five seconds. I know now that such an approach is standard Army officer body language for "WTF?" but this proved my first experience with such.

Then he sneered at me - I don't use that verb lightly - and went into full-on upbraid mode.

I don't recall his word-for-word his response (I threw out my notes long ago), and I don't want to misquote him, so I'll simply paraphrase from the memory seared to my mind: No, we don't feel any pressure, because each team is different. Fair enough. People coach their whole lives to accomplish what we have, nothing can take last year away from us. True. The real reporters know enough about how I operate to not ask a question like that. Wait, wha? Ouch. Can I get a question from someone who does this for a living? I want my mother.

The Aftermath: Was it a stupid question? Yeah, I guess so. But it wasn't a leading one. Or even a loaded one. Fairly innocuous, coming from a college kid obviously in over his head. Was it really necessary to remind me of this fact? (That was rhetorical question, because no, no it was necessary.)

In years past, as I've retold this story at bars, I had a snappy comeback for K, like, "so ... is that a no?" But that didn't happen. What else is there to do when getting scolded by arguably the most famous basketball coach alive, but to stare at the ground and look sheepish, hoping against hope someone else catches his attention? So yeah, that's what I did.

Does this anecdote make Coach K a bad person? No. It doesn't even make him a dick. Maybe he was having a bad day, and felt compelled to lash out at someone else. We've all been there. But it was dickish, and some thirty minutes, a beat writer (one who wrote about sports for an actual living!) tapped me on the shoulder, in between interview sessions.

"Don't worry about it, kid," he told me. "K does that every year to one of the student reporters from the schools [other than Duke.] I think it makes him feel tough."

If such is or was true - and I observed Coach K in a few more press conferences during my time at The Old Gold & Black, and I never had another problem nor witnessed anything similar - than yeah, he's a dick. But he's also a Hall of Famer and an incredible coach, and maybe being a dick is necessary in his line of work, considering the amount of scrutiny he deals with on a daily basis.

This is now two quasi anti-West Pointer posts in two days. If the men in black suits take me away in a helicopter tonight, you'll know why. Tell my golden retriever I love her!

Academies v. ROTC, Round 146

2010-05-24T11:40:00.011-04:00

Ahh, springtime. The birds are chirping, mind-numbing Hollywood epics are out in plentitude, and the annual internet fight about the relevancy of the military Academies (West Point, Annapolis, the Colorado Zoomie school, etc.) hath arrived. Quick, everyone run to your keyboards and get real, real indignant.

Last year, Tom Ricks really smacked the Academies in the baby maker. This year is proving to be a bit more even fight, as outlined here by the Small Wars Journal. The blogosphere got all hot and bothered by this - again - particularly some Academy graduates. Predictably, some of these responses were laced with entitled self-righteousness that couldn't help but take some shots at other avenues to officerdom.

I'm not going to do the ROTC version of that, don't worry. I knew some good officers that came from West Point, and I knew some bad ones. Concurrently, I knew some good officers that came from ROTC, and I knew some bad ones. Same song, same dance for OCS (officer candidate school.)

Generally speaking, the strengths and weaknesses of military Academy and ROTC grads differed. To wit, West Point grads *tended* to be more technically proficient as young lieutenants. This is good, it earns instant respect from soldiers and superiors alike. Concurrently though, ROTC grads *tended* to be able to communicate better with soldiers and superiors alike. Frankly, in my oh so humble opinion, not being a social retard is really the most important lesson a young platoon leader can learn. Like anything else, the military is a people business.

The best commander I ever served under - The Hammer, for those of you that read the book - went to West Point after attending a "normal" school for a year. He seemingly got the best of both worlds, as he was a bad mamba jamba technically (and tactically ... and mentally ... and physically), yet he didn't evoke burning resentment from others every time he spoke. Perhaps his leadership development offers a twenty-first century panacea for young leaders, I don't know.

West Point ain't going anywhere, no matter what the Google machine says. Neither is ROTC. So let's hug it out, fools! (Until next spring, at least.)

Catching up with ... Big Ern

2010-05-22T15:49:00.007-04:00

In both Kaboom the blog and Kaboom the book, the soldier Big Ern made his presence known for all the right reasons. From his nonstop bantering with hetero-lifemate Van Wilder, to his all too routine ten-hour sessions in the gunner's hatch, to his perpetual rocking of the Hate Fist, this Southern family man still supports Rip It energy drinks and extreme analogies.

Currently in Afghanistan as a dismounted team leader with a Cavalry squadron in the 101st Airborne Division, now Sergeant Promotable Big Ern was kind enough to answer a few questions via email. (For you non-camo inclined folk, Sergeant Promotable means he'll pin on Staff Sergeant rank shortly).

1) Big Ern! I miss your musk. How does Afghanistan compare with Iraq? What's similar, and what's different?

I would say the school system is similar, there are some poor ones here like we found in Iraq. What's different - the ASG (Asia Security Group) here seems to grasp the concept of security better than the IA (Iraqi Army) did in Iraq, at least when we were there (2007-09). There aren't any IPs (Iraqi Police) here to shoot at me, either. That's nice. Also, there a lot more hills to climb [in Afghanistan]. A lot more.

2) What do you miss most about the old platoon? Have you found someone to replace your hetero-lifemate, Van Wilder?

What I miss most about the Gravediggers was that close family we had, how we all bonded together and it seemed like we all knew what the other was thinking. And I will never find someone to replace Muffin Butt!

3) Huh. Apparently there was a nickname between the two of you that I was unaware of. You became famous for rocking the Hate Fist in Saba al-Bor. You rocking the Hate First in the 'Stan now?

Brother I will never quit rockin the Hate Fist! Now I just do it as a team leader on the ground.

4) Any shout outs you want to send to family or friends?

Tell all my friends Big Ern is doing okay , and tell my family I love them!

Bizarro Suge Day

2010-05-20T15:55:00.005-04:00

Got me some Suge on my mind today, for whatever reason. First, during my daily boogieboarding of the net, I learned that the namesake for my old terp, Suge Knight the rap music entrepreneur, got arrested last night in Los Angeles, for assault with a deadly weapon. Anyone familiar with this Suge Knight can't be that surprised.

Then, on my way to lunch at Subway, I saw a dead ringer for Suge the terp, playing checkers at a street corner. I did a triple-take initially, and had to reverify that it was a different man on my way back from lunch. The old guy looked just like Suge - same portly build, same power mustache, same dark skin tone. He wasn't smoking constantly though, nor was he regaling his friends with stories about knifing Syrians. He also sounded like he was of West Indian descent, instead of north African descent.

I know, this sounds horrible, but that's not it. I can indeed recognize differences amongst black people. I think I just miss the old guy.

Advise and Assist Facepalm

2010-05-18T17:07:00.004-04:00

This may be old news in the blogosphere, I don't know. But I heard through the camo-vine that "no more combat troops in Iraq" really means renaming maneuver brigades "advise and assist" brigades. No change in soldiers deployed, and limited changes in their training. Serious change to their mission in country, certainly.

I'm all for a slow and gradual drawdown. It's the only logical thing to do for Iraq right now. But I'm also for transparency. And this is ... well, this is straight amateur hour. Did they really think the American people would fall for this? (Don't answer that.)

The older I get, the less I feel inclined to believe in Big Brother conspiracies, because Big Brother isn't scary. Or efficient. He's an accident-prone buffoon, just trying to get by like the rest of us.

Remembering Mark

2010-05-17T02:20:00.030-04:00

In November of 2007, the British author Christopher Hitchens wrote a nonfiction piece for Vanity Fair entitled "A Death in the Family." If you haven't read it, I suggest that you do so - NYU's esteemed journalism school recently nominated it as one of the decade's top eighty works in that field. It's about the death of a young lieutenant in Iraq, and the resulting effects on his family, his community, and the author. The lieutenant's name was Mark Daily, a 2005 graduate of UCLA, and he was my friend.

We met in September of 2005 at Fort Knox in Kentucky, and like 40 or so of our peers, we wore gold bars and exuded green - something that, if known at the time, would've mortified us. For seven months, we labored through the Armor Officer Basic Course and Scout Leaders Course together. Even though Mark was in a different training platoon, we became familiar through mutual friends, Matt Gross and Chris Demo, and we cultivated our own relationship from there.

When I received word about Mark's passing (his Humvee hit a deep-buried IED on January 15, 2007, and he died instantly), I could only remember the times we disagreed and argued, for whatever reason. These debates were almost always esoteric and philosophical in nature; I think we gravitated towards one another for these discussions, knowing our other, more pragmatic, friends would've scoffed and told us to focus on the tasks at hand. Still in Hawaii at the time of his death, about a year short of my unit's deployment timeline, I became overwrought with a type of survivor's guilt fairly common in military veterans. Mark was the first from our Basic class to fall (we'd lose a second, David Schultz, on January 31, 2008), and it became the dreaded "this is for real" moment all young soldiers experience in their wars. Demo and I now lived together in Honolulu, and we did the only thing there is to do for 23-year old kids caught in such a situation: we got rip-roaringly drunk that night toasting to Mark's name, and did our best to suppress the fears his loss had incurred upon our souls and psyches. After all, our battles in Iraq still awaited, a fact no longer gilded with romanticism.

Before he deployed with the 1st Cavalry Division, Mark posted a brief statement on his MySpace page, entitled "Why I Joined." The entire piece resonates even today, in a post-Surge America and post-Awakening Iraq, because it puts on display the type of individual that made these movements work in the first place. "Consider that there are 19 year old soldiers from the Midwest who have never touched a college campus or a protest," Mark wrote, "who have done more to uphold the universal legitimacy of representative government and individual rights by placing themselves between Iraqi voting lines and homicidal religious fanatics." Mark channeled idealism into action in a manner that seemed natural to him, but remains all too rare in our modern world.

Why'd we sometimes disagree? He saw the best in people, I feared the worst. He was inspired by Hitchens, I called Hitchens a chickenhawk. Although he was sympathetic to anti-war statements and arguments regarding Iraq, he instead focused on the opportunity we had to instill democracy in the heart of the Middle East. I, uhh, didn't. Mark also became the first person to tell me to stop concerning myself with how we ended up in Iraq - it didn't matter anymore - and to instead focus on what could be done since we were already there. And he was right. We were second lieutenants destined for the war regardless of our personal opinions, and the decisions made in 2003 were now as irrelevant to our lives as they were to the Iraqi people living in the midst of it all.

With the passage of time, and through my own deployment to Iraq, I've been able to focus on the good times with Mark. Laughing about being covered head-to-toe in mud while fixing a tank track. Ganging up on political fascists and berating them into intellectual submission. Drinking beers at Irish pubs in Louisville, reminiscing about field exercises, talking about them like they were actual war stories. He was a driven mind, less of an oddball than me, and I genuinely liked and admired him - things that aren't always the case with battle buddies.

Eternal thanks to Mr. Hitchens for writing "A Death in the Family." I reread it last night, for the first time since it came out. Powerful, poignant, and genuine. I doubt he'll ever read this, but if he does, I do apologize for calling you names, though I'm sure you've been called worse.

In retrospect, I think that I was even a little jealous of Mark's rugged optimism; young men like him weren't supposed to exist anymore, except maybe in the minds of our Greatest Generation grandparents. But he did, and all of us that were there with him at Knox are better off because of such. Even then, we knew Mark to be the lieutenant we wanted our platoons to think we actually were. He set a high standard and gave us something to aspire to as leaders - something I suspect lingers in all of us, whether we're still in the Army or not. I know such remains the case for me.

See you at Fiddler's Green, Mark.

On COIN, Courageous Restraint, and Clowns

2010-05-14T16:55:00.000-04:00

Like most able-minded people, I think the courageous restraint medal idea isn't a good one. Our troops have to deal with enough ambiguity on the ground already, and even in a counterinsurgency, they need to be warfighters willing and able to kill in an instant. The piling on against this idea, particularly in the blogosphere, has been pretty massive, to include such tactical luminaries as Rush Limbaugh and Michelle Malkin.

While I hate the idea of this medal, and am pleased that it looks to be going the way of the dodo, some of the undertones in the reactions against it have been troubling. The aforementioned military deferment expert Rush referred to it as the "Yellow Heart medal," because presumably, there is nothing courageous about restraint. Any cursory Google search on the topic will yield a litany of cowboy wordage on the subject, essentially proclaiming the American way to be shoot and ask questions later.

Sigh. We're four years into the COIN-era, and **** like this still happens.

(Quick sidenote: A few weeks ago, during a radio interview with shock jock Mancow Muller, I was asked how awesome is it to kill ragheads, or something to that effect. There are few things in this world I detest more than posers. How do people not realize by now that we turned Iraq around by NOT killing unless we absolutely had to?)

First, a good general rule of thumb in any counterinsurgency: the less shooting happening, the better off you're likely doing. This certainly applies in the build and hold phases, while the initial clear phase is totally dependent upon the specific area and situation. I know this doesn't fit into the typical American viewpoint of war, but we've been over this already. COIN is atypical warfare.

Second, I'm not sure why this idea is President Obama's fault, or somehow symbiotic of a PC nation and culture. A Brit, Major General Nick Carter (perhaps of Backstreet Boy fame?) proposed the idea for NATO forces. Blaming 90s pop music seems far more appropriate.

Third, just because soldiers can shoot doesn't necessarily mean they should. I've lived this. Dismounted with 10 of my guys, caught in the crossfire of a firefight between the Iraqi Army and the Sons of Iraq. (Yes, I know they're technically on the same side. The Sons of Iraq were augmented by some ... acquittances who started shooting at us). We conducted a movement a contact behind a creeping Stryker, straight up the gut of the firefight, and effectively ended it. We were getting shot at, but not a one of us returned fire. Why? Because the "battlefield" was an Iraqi neighborhood.

Every situation is different. Had one of my guys felt threatened or identified a positive target, I guaran-damn-tee you he would've iced that bastard. But they didn't start spraying and praying, that's the point. And, just speaking for myself here, it was pretty difficult to avoid that temptation - it's human nature to defend yourself when you're in peril. Courageous restraint does exist - watching Staff Sergeant Boondock all too calmly direct the Stryker in front of us with AK rounds hissing around him remains one of the craziest -and bravest - things I've witnessed. Did he get a medal for such? Nope, he was just doing his job. (And it must be noted, that even were he awarded such a theoretical courageous restraint medal, SSG Boondock wouldn't wear it. He's a Cavalry scout through and through, and all that matters to him is his Combat Action Badge and his spurs).

So yeah, Rush (and others), courageous restraint does exist. (Insert way too easy prescription drug abuse joke here). Let's leave the wargaming and strategery to the David Kilcullens of the world, alright?

To his credit, General McChrystal stated yesterday that U.S. Forces already have "a number of ways to recognize courage," and that "courage in uniform can come under enemy fire in the most traditional ways or if you come under actions that may not be as expected or as traditional and involve killing. It may involve protecting civilians."

Courageous restraint, in certain circumstances, has been and will be awarded by the military, but we don't need a new medal for it. Concurrently though, we don't need the clueless, mongering wannabes spouting off about things they know nothing of, either. The kids will have a hard time enough explaining their experiences to their family and friends when they return home, even without drivel like this out there.

In Defense of Stream of Consciousness

2010-05-13T15:25:00.000-04:00

Well, my tome Kaboom: Embracing the Suck in a Savage Little War has been out for about six weeks now, and it continues to exceed all expectations. The wild ride aspect of it is stabilizing a bit, or maybe I've just gotten used to it all. Anyways, there's been enough time and reviews by now for a sort of consistent feedback pattern to develop. The most polarizing aspect of Kaboom, by far, has been the stream of consciousness pieces scattered intermittently through the book.

Some have described these pieces as "poetic" and "brutally honest." Others have found them "distracting," "melodramatic," and "rambling." Clearly, I'm far too biased (and like most writers, hypersensitive) to be able to objectively comment on what my stream of consciousness selections did or did not to for Kaboom. So I'll simply explain why I included them.

But first, as usual, a few caveats:

- I can't help the random old people who don't "get" stream of consciousness, except to provide this link to its Wikipedia entry. Good luck understanding a narrative style most of us learn in seventh grade, crank-stars!

- Jack Kerouac did not invent this narrative technique. See above Wikipedia entry. It has been around a long, long time.

And now, the main event!

I've read my fair share of war memoirs, both of the GWOT-era and before. Like anything else, some are good, more are bad. A troubling theme I've noticed though, especially in officer memoirs, is a whitewashing of events, people, and experiences. Either consciously or subconsciously, modern war memoirs tend to take on a pseudo-Hemingway style framing of existence in war. (I love Lord Ernest as much as anyone, but there are only so many ways to write "we warred today. Then we ate red meat. Then we made love to exotic women who cook and don't talk" before it becomes ... hackneyed.)

Life often sucked in Iraq. I was most aware of these moments when I had time to be aware of them, i.e. when I had time to think rather than pushing through the latest mission. Sometimes this occurred in a Port-a-John, other times, in the back of my Stryker. And were these thoughts often crazy and rambling? Damn right they were. That happens after days on end of 18-hour patrols and 3-hour naps, and like I've written before, my addiction to Rip-It energy drinks was both very real and very necessary.

Above all else, I wanted Kaboom to be an honest portrayal of men at war. Do I wish some things occurred differently? Sure I do, but they didn't. Do I wish my men and I always knew the right answer and the most tactically sound route? Of course, but that's wasn't our reality nor was it ever realistic. Kaboom doesn't offer up the reader an Audie Murphy hero; it's about the slow, messy grind of a scout platoon trying their damn best in a counterinsurgency. The word "ambiguous" doesn't just capture our war in general, it captured our mission sets and daily lives.

If I were to write Kaboom today, the book would be much different, and likely lack many - if not all - of those stream of consciousness moments. Because to include them now would be contrived and forced. But since those pieces were either written still in theater or right after we returned, including them was absolutely vital to that ambition of mine to keep the book authentic.

So, that's the because.

With the exception of the occasional superman poser that never made a mistake in Iraq, the feedback I've received from GWOT veterans with regards to these pieces has been universally supportive. Maybe it's because they understand the language, or maybe it's because they've been there. I recently had a vet pull me aside and point out "In a Little Plastic Bin" as his favorite part of the book, because of the ugly truths it describes. And he was in Iraq in 2003 - a totally different war, a totally different experience. But he had been there.

And that's the why.

Book review - "Senator's Son"

2010-05-11T17:19:00.001-04:00

Papa Hemingway once quipped that "All good books have one thing in common - they are truer than if they had really happened." Such advice certainly applies to Luke Larson's Senator's Son, a work of fiction that borrows heavily from the all too true experiences of Marine units during the Sunni Awakening. Larson is able to compact the vignettes and stories of many into one single company stationed in Ramadi, thus providing an approachable, concentrated story for those unfamiliar with the nuances of counterinsurgency and the Surge.

Senator's Son is written by a junior officer and written about junior officers. It chronicles the successes and failures of four very different platoon leaders - Bama, Cash, Rogue, and John - in al Anbar Province. One of them gets seriously injured and sent home, to fight the wounded warrior battles, while the others must continue on in the Suck. (Or the 'Ville, as Marines seem to call it). Initially they commute to the war, but gradually realize that standard techniques and tactics aren't leading to victory. Under the leadership of their forward-thinking company commander, the LTs and their Marines start to embrace the population as a means of weeding out insurgents, rather than directly attacking the enemy. Such an approach seems obvious now, and is indeed very trendy in national defense circles, but it's important to remember just how revolutionary this was in 2005-06. Certainly the Iraq my men and I found in 2007 would've been much different without leaders like Larson paving the way. (COIN-friendly active verb, intentional!)

Larson's prose is lean and sharp, which fits the subject matter nicely. He understands the subtleties of counterinsurgency, without declaring it a panacea, something he undoubtedly learned during his two tours to Ramadi in 2005 and 2007. Some of the enlisted personnel he writes about drift into stock character territory, but that's a small complaint, given the breadth of topics explored in the novel. Recommended, especially for current and future small unit leaders.

Dispatches from the Front: Route Clearance and Escalation of Force in COIN

2010-05-10T12:47:00.000-04:00

Today brings us a guest post by Lieutenant Smiles, an Army engineer currently deployed to Afghanistan.

***

The success of COIN in Afghanistan rests on the shoulders of Route Clearance patrols. If you’re not familiar with route clearance, it is the act of deliberately sweeping roads/routes for IEDs. Simply put, our only job is to look for and get rid of IEDs. Having done this a while I can say that there are generally only two outcomes – either you find the IED before it goes off, or you find it because it goes off.

I’m currently stationed in Southern Afghanistan patrolling a route that was averaging about 50 IEDs each week approximately 5 weeks ago. With constant patrolling, a little blood, and a lot of C-4 the route has been considered safe enough to open for civilian traffic. Route Clearance is very rarely considered the main effort in the COIN fight because our patrols are generally of the mounted variety, isolated in our up-armored vehicles from the people we patrol around. Occasionally we stop to question shady individuals, or to delete pictures being taken on cell phone cameras, but by and large we don’t build relationships with locals.

The use of escalation of force by Route Clearance patrols is pivotal in determining the outcome of Afghanistan’s COIN fight. We’re not involved with the locals, yet constantly surrounded by them. The most lethal threat that Afghans pose to Route Clearance patrols is not the Suicide Vehicle Borne IED (SVBIED). The reality is that this threat is non-existent. It was used with great success by the insurgency in Iraq, but has not caught on in Afghanistan. In fact the numbers are so stark, that SVBIED events average about 1 per year since we put troops in this country in 2001. The number of coalition convoys targeted by this device is equally small, yet this TTP is one that is taught by Army trainers preparing units to deploy to Afghanistan. It’s taught again when you get into country as well. Placing such emphasis on a virtually non-existent threat has put RCPs in a precarious position to influence the outcome of the COIN fight.

Driving in Afghanistan is a harrowing experience without having to dodge IEDs. There is no formal driver’s training and traffic laws are non-existent. General McChrystal put together a mandate allowing civilian traffic to pass military convoys, but Route Clearance patrols have been the last to follow. We are frequent offenders of this due to the perceived threat of SVBIEDs. The result of this perceived threat, along with normal Afghan driving, which can be described as erratic (at best), has resulted in 3 different shootings by RCPs in the last 35 days. Civilian casualty count? About 20 wounded and 6 killed. After the bus shooting (by an RCP) in early April, the city of Kandahar rioted. Yes, Rioted. The “Death to the Infidels” kind of riot. The kind of riot that deteriorates the progress the coalition has fought for.

If this fight is to be won, RCPs (and other ancillary units) that operate on the fringe of the COIN fight need to do a better job of recognizing credible threats and managing escalation of force.

From the 775

2010-05-07T13:24:00.000-04:00

It has been a wild and wooly week in Reno. Really, a very nice and humbling homecoming. The highlights have definitely been talking to kids at my elementary school and high school - their questions are just refreshingly honest and direct. Got one last book signing tonight at the Barnes and Noble on S. Virginia Street, and then it's back to the BK.

In the mean time ...

My review of Sebastian Junger's new book WAR, in the Huffington Post: Linky

BookDaily made Kaboom their featured book of the day. Many thanks!

And here's some video footage of my speech earlier this week at the University of Nevada:
Uno
Deux
Three

Washington Post's Impact of War - these wars belong to all of us

2010-05-05T12:38:00.000-04:00

The Washington Post has a new veterans'-related blog entitled "Impact of War." Their editors were kind enough to ask me to write a piece for them, and considering I owe my current livelihood to that paper, I agreed. Check it out!

What is wrong with America, reason #456,892

2010-05-05T04:01:00.000-04:00

A book that owes its existence to Twitter, "Sh*t my Dad Says," is currently in the top 20 of Amazon sales. (No, I'm not going to link it. Because it's a stupid book for stupid people that got its start on fucking Twitter).

Meanwhile, "Seal of Honor: Operation Red Wings and the Life of LT. Michael P. Murphy, USN," about the SEAL awarded a posthumous Congressional Medal of Honor, ranks in the 1600s. A more than respectable showing, for sure, but still.

WTF America.

Catching up with ... Ken Babbs

2010-05-03T20:11:00.000-04:00

Military historians and literary buffs alike should be familiar with the name Ken Babbs. A former Marine Corps officer, Babbs served in the early years of Vietnam as a helicopter pilot. He was also a great friend of Ken Kesey, the author made famous by his works One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and Sometimes a Great Notion. Meanwhile, Babbs and his fellow Merry Pranksters came to life for most of America in Tom Wolfe's The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.

Ken was and is a writer of his own merit, and recently shared with me an excerpt from his upcoming Vietnam War novel, "Who Shot the Water Buffalo?" I found the excerpt riveting - funky and colorful, as you'd expect from a Merry Prankster, but written in a distinct, offbeat voice that Vietnam books have lacked up to now. I can't wait to read the whole book, and personally believe much critical acclaim awaits it.

Ken blogs at SkyPilot, and was kind enough to answer these questions I sent him.

1. Why write "Who Shot the Water Buffalo?" now? After all, it has been nearly fifty years since you served in Vietnam. Did it take that long to come to terms with your experiences over there, or were there other factors at play?

I first wrote the novel in '62 and '63, a long chaotic rambling mass of typewritten pages sent home from Vietnam while I was there in a Marine Corps helicopter squadron flying the H-34 D, the Dawg. When I got home I cobbled it all into a work of total fiction, giving it the verisimilitude of the places I'd been and the actions I was in while interjecting made-up characters and invented situations layered with salty language, persnickety relationships, shoot-em-up action, all done in what I hoped was an entertaining fashion. My agent, Sterling Lord, who was also Kesey's agent, had some great suggestions when we met in NYC in '64 on the famous bus trip described in "The Electric Kool Aid Acid Test." But, sad to say, by the time I got home from that excursion, Kesey and I were into movie-making and I let the book lapse for a while. 44 years to be exact. I decided to dig it out and check it out, see if it had any potential after all those years. I found out the verisimilitude was still there but the book was a clunker, so I took it upon myself to rewrite the whole damned thing. Took a few years, but has reached a very satisfying conclusion, keeping the made-up characters, invented situations, salty language, persnickety relationships and shoot-em-up action, written in an entertaining fashion. As for coming to terms with my experiences over there, I've never had any problems with that. Took about six weeks to realize although our intentions might have been good, after all, those dirty commies were launching the dreaded domino effect and looked like it was up to us to thwart their evil intent, but what were we going to accomplish that in this sinkhole? Buddy up and cover each other's back and see if we can get out of this mess alive.

2. My favorite part of "The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test" is when you bring a serious dose of reality to the Vietnam War debate between Kesey and Allen Ginsberg, darkly and accurately pointing out that no one there but you had seen the ravages of war. How did Wolfe's report on these events match up with your memory of the experiences, both in regards to this moment and with his book in general?

Well, gotta admit I haven't read EKAT since it came out but I get all kinds of questions about it, particularly when I speak to high school classes, for it is a book that continues to resonate amongst young people and you have to give it its due, it's been in continual print since 1968. Wolfe was on top of his nouveau bonzo writing game at the time. As for how his report gibes with my memory I have to say, what memory? Remember what Leary said, "If you can remember what happened then you werent' there." But I do have fond memories of Wolfe when he was around, very dapper, smart guy with a photographic memory, could recall whole conversations and put them down on paper. I'm looking forward to his take on WSTWB. Not much of an answer but I'm not inclined to dip back into EKAT. I'm waiting for the movie, gonna be made by Gus Van Sant. Everybody should see the job he did on "Milk."

3. It seems like over time, the message of the Merry Pranksters has been lumped into that of the Hippies, but I've always felt that you all were a different entity entirely. How do you want the Merry Pranksters to be remembered?

Kesey and I fell in the crack between the beat generation and the hippie era. Too young for one and too old for the other. But we were revolutionaries then and still are. Under the asphalt, emerging into the light occasionally for a bombast, then retreating to dirtville, who was them masked men, Martha? Psychedelic warriors, toiling in anonymity, not chasing the fantasies, wrestling the exigencies. Hippie is not a dirty word and the unwashed masses bleed the same color red. When the bell rings its summons we slip into the phone booth, slip off our mild mannered docile accoutrements and assume the mantle of harbingers, deftly side slipping the in your face shouting toe to toe contenders for the championship belt of true righteousness, necks stiff as a pole whacker's dick; for we know there is a force afield that wants us fighting with one another, getting us to take our eyes off the ball long enough we are fleeced out of our very pockets emptied of the pitiful small change saved for that so-called rainy day, it is up to us to demonstrate another way, not one of contention but one of kindness and cooperation and roll up the sleeves and get the real jobs done, clean up the oil spill, house the hurricaned homeless, put everyone to work on their neighborhood blights, plant gardens in vacant lots, fresh food stalls on the corners, free Wi Fi for all. Get that done we can slip back into obscurity, rest up till the next round. It's not about being remembered. It's about getting something done in our miniscule feeble way. As Jerry Garcia once said, "Somebody has to do it. It's just pathetic that it has to be us."

4. You still live in Oregon, with many of the other Pranksters. How does Ken Babbs spend his days and nights now? And what's next for you, both in writing and otherwise?

A 4:45 reveille blows up the dreamtime revelry and the dog jumps on the bed and washes Ken Babbs's face, the bladder is pounding, the floor is cold but it's outside to take a leak along with the dog and back in to get the fire going in the woodstove while the teakettle sings on the stove, come make coffee, come make coffee, wait till Ken brushes his teeth, please, morning mouth is strong enough to kill whatever flies try sleeping on the cutting board, blow them away, Ken loves to kill the morning blahs swilling the java eating the toast making the tea arousing the wife making her lunch, now with dog bounding alongside, a quick sprint to the road, breaking rhythm on the bridge as taught in the military manuals, get the paper out of the box, back to the house, doggie treat for Ken, pissing off the dog but it's a trick, he gets one too, the old one two punch line never fails to garner a laugh and it's out the door to go to work as a high school English teacher and department head, not Ken but his wife, pat her on the po po, bye now, Ken must do the dishes, the laundry, vacuum, tidy up the mess around the TV from last night's nachos and drinks and damned cat still sleeping, up up up outside, no need to crap in the litter box, just another thing to clean up, then all quiet, do the email to warm up before getting to work on the next book now that the old Vietnam novel is in the hands of the publisher, a short lull before the editor contacts me with his lists of refinements, it's noon already and Ken Babbs is fixing his lunch and racing the dog to the mailbox and finally getting dressed, into his workaholic uniform, old tattered and patched set of Marine Corps utilities, to go out and tame the wild expanses of the six acre spread threatening to overrun the house, must beat back the intruders, impossible to wipe them out, pacification program full bore with time left to cut and split firewood even though it is may and may day has come and gone and the may pole is forlorn in the yard with wilted flowers hanging on the lines that were wrapped in a ring around the maypole dance Ken Babbs did in the rain cavorting happily in the nude how else he gone git dirt and grime removed, but enough of the dilly dallying, time now to prepare supper and hopefully Ken remembered to take something out of the freezer in the morning so he doesn't have to do the burn it up in the microwave thing trying to thaw out the artichokes, but per usual, after following the mandatory 2 glasses of wine while cooking instructions in the manual, supper arrives on the table in time to chow down, tell one another our adventures during the day, feed the dog, clean up the cooking supper mess, and hit the couch for Seattle Mariners baseball, no more basketball now that Portland Trailblazers are out of the playoffs, boo hoo, two big chunks of oak in the woodstove will keep it going all night and a few pages of reading Philip Caputo's new book, his Vietnam book, "A Rumor Of War," was a good one as was "The Things They Carried" by Tim O'Brien another good one, eyelids getting heavy, Ken Babbs is going to sleep.